


Right In Front of You

by 3ALover



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, M/M, Moving On, Relationship Problems, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-06-12 00:57:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15328215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3ALover/pseuds/3ALover
Summary: Yuzuru is dating Shoma, but is in love with someone else.Shoma knows Yuzuru loves someone else.Yuzuru wants to become a man who deserves Shoma's love, because Shoma deserves more but refuses to leave him and find it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had an idea to write something angsty and I promised another Yuzu/Shoma so this seemed perfect!!!
> 
>  
> 
> **I don't know why this initially didn't take the "multiple chapters" label. I had to do it 3 times. Sorry if you clicked before I could fix it. ******

Yuzuru looked at the ceiling, not able to bring himself to look at Shoma. “I don’t understand. Why can’t you come see me?”

Shoma huffed out a breath. “I just- I don’t know if we should do this, Yuzuru.”

Yuzuru frowned at the ceiling. “What? Why not?” 

Shoma moved, rustling around beside Yuzuru, and he fought every instinct that told him to look over at him. “You don’t really want me,” he said in a small tone that went right to Yuzuru’s heart. 

“Shoma-“

“No, be honest.” Yuzuru finally looked at Shoma, who was looking up at the ceiling, his hands fidgeting on his stomach on top of the sheets. “Even now when we-“ He trailed off, and Yuzuru could guess what he was going to say, just because of their current position, underneath rumpled, dirty sheets of a hotel bed, their clothes strewn around the room. “If we’re not in this room, you’re with him.”

Yuzuru felt guilt in the pit of his stomach as he glanced over. “He’s my friend.”

“Only because he won’t cross that line with you,” Shoma accused weakly, and Yuzuru watched his throat bob as he swallowed hard. “I thought- I thought with him retiring, maybe finally I could hope to really be the one for you. But nobody ever will be, will they, Yuzuru?” He smiled wryly, still staring up at the ceiling. “You’re like magnets. You automatically find each other, no matter where or why. If you’re around, his eyes find you, and the same for you and him. You look at each other and gravitate to each other’s orbit without any prompting, like you’re naturally drawn together.” Yuzuru watched a tear streak Shoma’s face, falling from his eye into his hair. “I know you love him.”

Yuzuru let out a shaky breath. “It doesn’t matter. He’s straight. Whatever ‘magnetism’ we have, it can’t ever be what I want-“ Yuzuru stopped short, and Shoma laughed weakly.

“See?” He shook his head, and Yuzuru saw his bottom lip tremble. “You want him. You love him.” He sniffled some and finally glanced over at Yuzuru. “I’m just what you can have. You settle for me because you can’t have him.”

The guilt eating away in the pit of Yuzuru’s stomach felt like acid. “Shoma,” he breathed, and Shoma smiled sadly. 

“I thought if we were together…” He trailed off then shrugged. “I don’t know. That it would be enough? That you would one day see me as the one you really want, not just the one you have.” Shoma let out a self-deprecating laugh. “And the most pathetic part is that I won’t leave,” he rasped. “Until you ask me to go, I’ll stay. And I’ll come back if I did leave.” He raised a fist and wiped his eyes, which only further made Yuzuru feel like a bastard. “I waited for you, and I gave you everything. I still give you everything. But I always just feel… used.” He laughed hoarsely. “I convince myself that the sex is worth it if nothing else, but every time, I know it isn’t me you’re thinking about, and after it’s over, I feel like a stand-in.”

Yuzuru wanted to reach out and touch him, but it wasn’t fair. “Do you want me to end it for you? Make it so you don’t have to be strong enough?” he offered, though just thinking about it made him feel strangely ill. Shoma was right, he didn’t love him the way he should. He loved someone who was never going to be his. But it hurt to think that he was making Shoma feel this way. “I never want to hurt you, Sho,” he whispered.

Shoma smiled sadly. “I know.” He looked at Yuzuru. “It won’t hurt less if you leave me. I’ll just feel used and tossed aside instead of taken advantage of. I may as well enjoy the dream for a while. When I close my eyes and fall asleep with you, I can at least pretend.”

“You’re important to me, Shoma,” he murmured, voice trembling. “I- I’m sorry,” he squeaked. “I wish I could just stop, but I can’t. I’ve been in love with Javi in some way or another since I was a teenager. I started this to try and get over him, but it just- it hasn’t worked. But he’s going to be gone more, soon,” he said almost eagerly. “After this show ends, I won’t see him again until next summer. It will be different. He won’t be around. I can- I can get over him. I can love you how you love me.”

Shoma nodded tiredly. “Yeah, maybe you will,” he said flatly, and Yuzuru knew he didn’t believe him. 

Yuzuru finally gave up and moved over, draping an arm across Shoma’s waist, resting his cheek on Shoma’s shoulder. “I do love you, you know,” he whispered, closing his eyes to listen to Shoma’s heartbeat. “Maybe it isn’t how I should love my boyfriend, but I do.”

After a moment a hand settled on his head and he clenched his eyes harder, hating himself for how hesitant Shoma was. “I know you do. You love everybody you know. I would have never had hope at all if I didn’t know you loved me some.”

~

Long after Shoma had fallen asleep, Yuzuru was still wide awake. He kept looking at Shoma’s handsome face and thinking about how they got here. It started when he got injured. Shoma was the one person who always answered his calls, and always played online with him, and the one friend who he could really rely on while he was too injured to live his life. When their conversations turned serious and they opened up to each other, Yuzuru felt a spark he hadn’t in a long time. When he realized how Shoma felt, it gave him a powerful feeling of being desired as more than Yuzuru Hanyu, but as just a man who was dorky and had very few friends. They started flirting and flirting turned to feelings and phone sex and good night messages and agreeing to be boyfriends. 

Looking back, however, Yuzuru could see now that it had started for Shoma so much longer ago. He recognized that he was Shoma’s Javi. He was the older man he had admired and fallen in love with while he was still a teenager. Yuzuru felt so much guilt for making Shoma pine for him and then giving him what he wanted, but not all he wanted. 

Yuzuru knew that hope. The dream of 'what if'. The wishful yearning that maybe this hug will be a kiss. Every time Javier held him by his waist and cupped his neck or face in his hands, his heart ached for those hands to linger. Every time he was single, Yuzuru wished and wished and every time he met someone else, Yuzuru’s heart shattered. 

He hated that he ever made Shoma feel the same. He hated himself for starting this relationship and giving him a sham of what he wanted. He tried so hard to give up the feelings he had for Javier, because it was pointless, but also because he owed Shoma to be a better boyfriend. 

He was the only person Shoma had ever dated. He was the only person Shoma had ever even kissed. Though Yuzuru had never been in a relationship and wasn’t the most experienced, he had been a pretty nineteen year old away from his mother’s watchful eye for the first time at the Olympics, and the rumors about the Village were true. 

Shoma was nineteen, almost twenty, when they started dating, too, and Yuzuru knew what it was like to be nineteen and praying the man you loved would look your way. Javier never did, but Yuzuru had. 

Looking at his sleeping boyfriend, Yuzuru wished so badly he had know how much it would hurt Shoma when this all started. He kissed Shoma’s sleeping lips – he slept so heavily it wouldn’t wake him – and got out of bed, deciding he needed to go clear his head without the subject of his guilt right beside him.

~

Yuzuru sat at a table in the hotel bar, sipping on apple juice instead of alcohol but enjoying the quiet privacy that the bar provided this late. He was startled out of his thinking when someone sat down across from him in his secluded booth. He looked up and his heart skipped a beat when he met big, brown eyes and a faint smirk. “What are you doing in a bar this time of night, Yuzuru?” Javier asked, and Yuzuru smiled faintly. 

“Thinking,” he admitted. 

Javier hummed, sitting back in his seat some, his near-empty beer in his hand. “All the others have gone up already, so I’m all ears,” he said, and Yuzuru bit his lip, looking down. “I noticed Shoma didn’t join us,” he casually said, and Yuzuru looked up, eyes wide with fear. Javier just grinned lazily. “Don’t play innocent. I put two and two together to get four a long time ago. You both happen to skip hanging out at the same time far too often.”

Yuzuru gulped fearfully. “I- I-“

“I’m happy.” Yuzuru was startled, but Javier continued with a less-tipsy look of sharpness in his eyes. “You deserve someone who can love you back.”

Yuzuru felt like he had been slapped. “W-what?”

Javier gave him a gentle smile and leaned on his elbows, looking at Yuzuru closer. “I’ve known for a long time how you feel about me, Yuzuru.” Yuzuru felt his face heat and he wanted the floor to swallow him up. “No, don’t get embarrassed,” Javier said kindly. “I’ve never judged you for it. I’ve never treated you differently. You’re my friend, and nothing will ever change that,” Javier said firmly. “But I worried a long time,” he confessed. “I was scared I was giving you mixed signals, but I can’t stop being who I am.”

“Well yes, at beginning of our friendship I get mix signal,” Yuzuru said with a soft laugh. “You touch so easy, it took get used to,” he pointed out. He smiled sadly, looking at his glass. “But no, I know for long time just how Javi is.”

Javier smiled sadly. “I will admit, there were moments I wished I liked men because you are perfect in every way. You get me how no other person has. But I feel like our connection is not one for romantic happy ever after. I tried backing off but you seemed so sad to late our friendship.”

“I do not have much friends so I was lonely,” Yuzuru admitted. “I want more, but friend was just as much important.”

Javier sipped his beer and smiled. “Even if we will never be lovers, I will always be your friend.”

Yuzuru’s breath hitched, not because it hurt to hear the truth, but because unexpectedly, he felt peace. It was like the voice clinging to hope was silent after so long trying and failing to extinguish that flicker that refused to die. “I need that,” he breathed, eyes burning just a little. 

Javier tilted his head curiously. “Hear what?”

Yuzuru smiled. “Never.”

~

Yuzuru woke Shoma with kisses and touches that became sex in the shower. The whole time, Yuzuru clung to Shoma and tried to convey apology with every kiss and love with every look into his big, beautiful eyes. 

Shoma didn’t mention their honesty the night before, but they never did bring up the previous day’s argument or hurtful words normally, so he wasn’t surprised. Instead, Shoma smiled at him like nothing had happened, and it only made him feel more guilty and more determined to be a better boyfriend to someone so deserving of love. 

At the door, as they said their private goodbyes away from the eyes of the public, Yuzuru held Shoma’s face in his hands, smiling down at him as Shoma looked at him with sadness as having to leave. He brushed his thumbs over Shoma’s cheekbones and he felt Shoma’s fingers reflexively curl against his waist. “Hard to believe just a year ago you didn’t have these,” he mused. "Who would have guessed you had gorgeous bone structure under those baby fat cheeks.”

Shoma rolled his eyes. “Yuzuru,” he said flatly, and Yuzuru felt his insides warm at the playful look in Shoma’s eyes. 

“Come see me,” he whispered, only regretting it because it made the hurt from last night resurface in Shoma’s eyes. 

“Please, I don’t want to leave each other on bad terms,” Shoma murmured.

Yuzuru shook his head, brushing a kiss to Shoma’s forehead as his hands slid to rest on his shoulders. “I want to do better, Sho. I want to deserve you.” He looked into his eyes. “I want to love you the way you love me.”

Shoma bit his lip. “If I come, you have to treat me like your boyfriend, not just a friend. And you have to come meet my brother,” he said, and Yuzuru panicked for a moment. 

“I- I have,” he mumbled weakly. Their families didn’t know. Their coaches didn’t know. Yuzuru was scared of rumors about his sexuality when their country was not welcoming like it was some places. Shoma seemed to sense it and he squeezed his hips gently.

“I won’t ask you to tell your family, I would never try to force you to before you are ready,” he reassured. “I just want you to meet Itsuki as my boyfriend, not a teammate. We don’t even have to tell my parents if you’re scared they will tell someone.”

Yuzuru honestly was terrified. However, he could see the hope in Shoma’s eyes waning, and he couldn’t bear to lose their momentum towards a better, healthier relationship. “Okay,” he agreed.

Shoma’s eyes widened and then narrowed as he smiled brightly, a rare, huge smile of joy from the usually stoic Shoma. “Really?!” he jumped in place and threw his arms around Yuzuru’s neck in excitement, which told Yuzuru everything about how poor of a boyfriend he had been to miss how much Shoma wanted this. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” When he tucked his face into Yuzuru's neck, Yuzuru could feel his smile against his skin. Curiously, Yuzuru felt something he never felt with Shoma.

Yuzuru had butterflies in his stomach


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I debated whether or not I wanted to post anything in light of the tragic murder of Denis Ten, but I decided that the figure skating community, including RPF fans, deserved as many distractions as possible, and because of that, I'm posting what was originally going to be 2 chapters as 1 today. Just read and block out the horrors of real life, amigos.

Training with a whole bunch of different people was strange. Yuzuru was only used to sharing the ice for jump training with Jun-Hwan out of the men with them today. Also, Brian had brought his little boy skater to join in to motivate him. Instead, Yuzuru watched a pre-teen doing a quad Lutz and felt like an entire failure because he was distracted, and he was repeatedly falling on his ass in front of a pre-teen and his new rink mates was embarrassing. 

“Yuzuru, what is wrong with you?” Brian asked after he picked himself up from falling on a triple toeloop. “Are you sick or something?”

Yuzuru blushed. “Sorry, I have get distracted.”

Brian sighed. “Go get some water. We can talk later, but you’re not injuring yourself on my time because of a triple toeloop.”

Yuzuru dejectedly skated to the side and sat down with his water bottle and hid his face in his arms. Two of his new rink mates were top skaters he greatly admired and to basically be put on the naughty step in front of them was really embarrassing. He knew it was for his own good, but it made him feel like a failure.

Just like he was failing Shoma again. 

Yuzuru couldn’t focus because all he was thinking about was how he promised to come see Shoma and hang out with Itsuki, but to do that he had to tell his mother why he needed to go to Japan, and he had to ask for time off training, so Brian had to know why, too.

Last night he and Shoma got in a huge argument because Yuzuru kept putting it off and Shoma didn’t believe him anymore. Yuzuru meant it. He _was_ going to do it. Shoma knew he didn’t want to come out so he told him to lie and say he wanted to visit his friend, but Yuzuru was too scared she would just know somehow. Shoma told him she wouldn’t but he just argued with him that she would. He knew maybe Shoma was right, but by the time he accepted that, Shoma was so upset he just hung up on him. 

Yuzuru wanted to be a better boyfriend and keep his promises, but he was stubborn and scared. And he hated that about himself, too.

“Alright, come on.” Yuzuru startled, looking up to see Brian waiting and the others all leaving. Yuzuru hadn’t noticed time had passed so quickly. He stood and followed Brian to his office, immediately going to flop on to his back on the couch. Brian chuckled. “Sure, make yourself at home.”

Yuzuru didn’t wait for Brian to ask what was wrong. “I am sorry for practice. I just am really depress.”

Brian snorted at his pout. “You are not depressed, you were fine yesterday. Depression doesn’t work that way.”

Yuzuru gave up his silliness and bit his lip. He had always wondered but never looked too much into Brian’s past. He decided, as uncomfortable as he was asking, Brian was probably the only person who he could talk to and know it would be okay. “What it was like to come out?” 

He could hear Brian let out a heavy breath and there was a long pause. “Ah.” Brian chuckles softly. “Well, if you don’t already know, I didn’t get to choose to come out. I was outed.”

Yuzuru knew that. Everybody knew it. But he still wanted to ask. “That is why I ask you not other person.”

He chanced a look at Brian, who looked worried, but didn’t push. “It was terrible,” he said honestly. “Coming out should be a personal choice. The when, the how, and the who should always be a choice. Nobody should ever be pressured or outed. It was something that was mine being ripped away from me,” he said honestly. “It wasn’t just fear of what would happen to my career, it was the feeling of having my choices taken away from me. It felt like my life was violated.” 

Yuzuru felt both I’ll and heartbroken for Brian. “Did family know already or did that get taken away, too?” he asked quietly.

Brian smiled. “Thankfully, I had been out to my family for a while then. Close friends and family were all that kept me from falling apart after getting outed. Even then, Canadians were a lot more accepting and I was lucky to have a family that was.”

Yuzuru swallowed hard. “Japan does not accept much. Best chance is ignoring. Most chance is public disgrace and lose everything.” Yuzuru sat up and hugged his knees to his chest, his heart pounding. “I- I am gay,” he said in a brittle voice. 

Brian gave him a supportive smile. “Scary, huh?” he asked, and Yuzuru knew then that it was painted on his face that it was the first time he ever said that out loud. 

“I feel so much scared people will find out,” he said, the words tumbling out now. “Nobody but two persons knows and I must do something to be good person but I feel I must come out to my mother first but I do not can guess how she will think but she is most important in my life and what if she hate me?” He choked on a tearless sob as he ran out of breath.

Brian nodded slowly. “I won’t promise your mom will take it well, but from what I know of her, I don’t think your mother could ever hate you. A woman who gives up a decade of her life to help her son achieve his dreams is more likely to take your side no matter what.” He tilted his head. “But don’t feel pressured to come out. Whatever you need to do I’m sure you don’t have to come out to her.”

Yuzuru bit his lip. “She will want know why I am leaving the country without her, because I promise to go meet person.”

Brian smiled. “Aww, do you have someone special? I’m happy for you.”

Yuzuru decided to just go for it and admit the truth. “I’m dating Shoma Uno.”

“WHAT?!?”

~

After talking to Brian – and laughing at his response to finding out Yuzuru was dating a rival which included a tirade about hair loss – Yuzuru felt a little more confident about talking to his mom. He was still scared, but he knew if he didn’t tell her the truth about why he was going to Japan for a week, he would regret lying to her. 

When he told her in a panicked rush that he was going to go to Japan for a week to see his boyfriend, she was surprised but calm and just agreed to book his flight for him. With such a subdued reaction, he was overwhelmed and started crying, and she spent ten minutes straight hugging him while he cried and telling him that she and his father had wondered once if he might be gay since he never talked about girls as a teenager, but that they had just dismissed it. He never knew that they ever thought about it, and though they hoped he wasn’t, it had only been for his own sake. They had worried how badly people would judge him, and they hoped he would have a family some day, but they agreed they would support him no matter what, the same way they gave so much to support his dreams. 

His mother’s words had calmed his fears so much and he felt like finally his big secret wasn’t really as big anymore.

~

Being Yuzuru Hanyu was not really as fun as people probably imagined. He had worn a disguise – a beret, sunglasses, and a bright pink mask, as well as a ladies coat he had picked up especially for this – at the airport and the whole time he was on the plane. It sucked. Even in first class, he had to keep his mask, coat, and sunglasses on for the entire flight. In the summer.

Japan was a long way away, too.

When he arrived, he still had an escort through the airport, but thankfully it worked. As soon as he got in the car, he shed the coat and beret, grateful that the tinted windows would protect him from having to dress as a lady just to not get noticed. 

It was only after the long drive into the suburban area of town that his heart picked up speed. He was going to Shoma’s house. His parents were away on business, which was why they picked this week, so he was going to spend five whole days with his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s brother. They had been together for seven months and this was going to be the longest they were together in one time. 

The house they pulled up to was a nice family home. It was much bigger than he had expected. His home in Sendai was smaller and he didn’t exactly come from humble beginnings. 

As soon as he got out of the car, the door opened and for a split second Yuzuru thought it was Shoma, but when Itsuki stepped into the sun, he realized his mistake. “So this is why Shoma didn’t want me to answer the door,” he said, walking out to open the gate. 

Yuzuru bowed his head politely. “Hello. Where is Shoma?” he asked and Itsuki smirked.

“Locked in my room.”

Yuzuru’s eyes widened. “Um….why?”

Itsuki smirked. “Because I’m not stupid and need to set some ground rules!” He opened the gate and Yuzuru followed him nervously, letting the driver get his bags. “Rule 1, Shoma thinks I don’t know you’re his boyfriend but I’m not a total idiot. You, however, cannot tell him I know. It will ruin my fun.”

“Why tell me then?” Yuzuru asked with a confused frown.

“Because I don’t want you to dump him because I’m a dick,” he said simply. “Which leads us to rule 2! If you break my weird brother's heart, I’ll definitely kick you in the knees and ruin your season,” he said in a cheerful tone. “I’m only 16, I won’t go to jail for beating your skinny ass.”

Yuzuru guiltily thought about how much he had hurt Shoma already but didn’t feel inclined to speak up since Itsuki played a contact sport and could probably actually break Yuzuru in half, teenager or not. “You are very different than I remember,” he said and Itsuki grinned.

“And rule 3!” he said without replying. “I unfortunately have a good idea why you came to visit while our parents are gone, so keep it very quiet unless you want to have to explain to my mom and dad why their child hanged himself,” he said with a grimace.

Yuzuru’s face flamed and he stuttered a while before the door flung open and a red-faced Shoma stormed out. “Itsuki you assh- oh my God, Yuzuru, why are you so red?” he asked, groaning. “What did he say? Was it bad?” Instead of waiting for an answer, Shoma lunged at Itsuki, who shrieked and laughed as he dodged Shoma and ran inside, Shoma giving chase.

Yuzuru decided to leave that alone and he took his bags from the driver of the car and brought them inside instead. He listened to the brothers running all over the house shouting and possibly fighting while be inventoried his things. Once he decided it was all there, he stood and looked around the massive entryway.

After a little while, Shoma came down the stairs with ruffled hair and flushed cheeks, but a smile of triumph on his face that Yuzuru had to admit was kind of hot. “Is he dead?” Yuzuru teased and Shoma grinned.

“Nah, but I did lock him in his room the way he did me.” He stopped in front of Yuzuru and looked up into his eyes. “Hi,” he said sheepishly, and Yuzuru glanced around to be sure nobody was there before stepping in and ducking to peck Shoma on the lips. 

“Hi.”

Shoma giggled – which was so adorable Yuzuru almost died – and grabbed his hands. “You really came,” he said, tugging Yuzuru’s arms around his middle. 

“I may not be the best boyfriend,” Yuzuru said with a self deprecating smile, “But I try to keep promises I make.”

Shoma bit his lip shyly but squeezed Yuzuru’s forearms a bit. “Thank you.”

Yuzuru felt guilty. “You shouldn’t thank me for doing something I shouldn’t have to be asked to do.”

“While you’re here, please don’t mope,” Shoma said, giving him a wide-eyed pout. “Dwelling on times you weren’t a good boyfriend will distract you from being one now.”

Yuzuru smiled. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” Shoma smiled up at him and Yuzuru smirked. “So did you know your brother threatened to break my “skinny ass” if I hurt you?”

Shoma whined and let his head fall to Yuzuru’s chest. “Whyyyyyy?”

Yuzuru tickled his waist a little. “He also threatened to hang himself of we have loud sex.” 

“Oh God, maybe I’m the one who will hang myself!” Shoma groaned, going slack in Yuzuru’s arms. “Let me die in peace.”

Yuzuru laughed. “Shoma, you’re too heavy, stop!”

“HEY! New rule: NO sex in public areas!” Itsuki shouted from the top of the stairs, and Yuzuru instantly jumped back away from Shoma, both of them blushing like mad.

~

Just to mess with Itsuki, they took Yuzuru’s stuff to Shoma’s room instead of the guest room. Yuzuru had expected he would stay there since Itsuki was home all week, but Shoma wanted to tease his brother by making him constantly wonder if they we’re having sex. 

I’m reality, Yuzuru was exhausted from the long flight but not sleepy, so they lay on Shoma’s bed together, Shoma playing video games and Yuzuru using Shoma’s tummy as a pillow. Looking around the room, Yuzuru had a thought he had to voice. “Hey, Sho?” 

“Mmm?” he grunted, and Yuzuru snorted softly at how “Shoma” it was. 

“Are you… really , really rich?” he asked awkwardly.

Shoma nodded as if it was no big deal. “Yeah, aren’t you?”

Yuzuru made a face. “Well, yeah, personally, but this house is a whole other type of rich.” He pouted are Shoma. “You’re super rich and never buy me things,” he joked, then laughed against Shoma’s belly.

Shoma smiled. “Is my house really that big?” he asked curiously. “Our old house was even bigger. My parents decided not to have a third kid and this is closer to where my mom works.”

Yuzuru raised an eyebrow. “Even bigger? What does your parents do?”

“My dad works at one of the tech companies that sponsors me,” he said, and Yuzuru grinned.

“That explains a lot,” he joked and Shoma flicked him on the forehead. “Hey!”

Shoma kissed his finger then pressed it to that spot, which made Yuzuru smile. Shome did the cutest stuff sometimes. “My mom works in advertising,” he added. 

Yuzuru hummed. “My dad is a teacher and my sister works in an office doing stuff I’m not smart enough to understand.” He scrunched his nose. “I have more money than my family, which I don’t like, but other than pay for all my skating needs and our apartment and bills in Canada, they won’t let me give them money.”

Shoma nodded. “My family is definitely richer than me. My mom has shoes that cost her more than my skates.”

“Oh my God why???” Yuzuru asked, sitting up in shock.

Shoma laughed at him. “Because designer clothes are expensive.” He tugged at his shirt collar. “This was about 50,000 yen.” 

Yuzuru looked down at him doubtfully. “It is just a plain tee-shirt.” 

“Yeah, from a famous designer,” Shoma said, and Yuzuru scoffed.

“You are unbelievable.” He rubbed his hand over Shoma’s stomach and felt of the shirt. “I don’t guess I even think about what I wear.” His fingers traced the lines of Shoma’s abs absently. “This shirt is very soft, actually,” he said before flopping back down, resting his cheek on the fabric and Shoma’s abs, looking up at Shoma’s face. “Comfy,” he said with a little smile. Shoma looked down at him with an expression that Yuzuru had noticed before, and this time, for once, he didn’t feel guilty. He was working towards deserving that adoring smile. He wanted to be a man worthy of Shoma’s sweet little smile. “You’re really handsome,” Yuzuru murmured, looking up at his boyfriend. Little double chin and all, he was just too adorable.

Shoma scrunched his nose. “Nobody is handsome from that angle.”

“You are,” Yuzuru said, smiling as he closed his eyes and reached out push the video game back into Shoma’s hands. “Keep playing. I’m just going to sit here and rest.” He tickled Shoma’s tummy gently, smiling when he squirmed and whined.

“Stooop.”

“Shhh, just play,” he said softly. 

Yuzuru fell asleep listening to the gentle rise and fall of Shoma’s breathing, 

~

“Wake up!” 

Yuzuru startled awake at the sound of a shout right in his ear, and sat up so fast he barely managed not to headbutt Itsuki. “What?”

Itsuki grinned. “Your boyfriend ordered pizza and it just got here. Come watch Shoma eat vegetables the only way he ever has: covered in cheese.”

Yuzuru yawned as he shuffled along behind Itsuki. When they got downstairs, the second he saw Shoma, he smiled. He was already shoving a piece of pizza in his mouth while carrying the box to the table. “So attractive,” he teased, and Shoma just rolled his eyes, smearing sauce on his face as he pulled the pizza slice away from his mouth.

“You sweat more than anybody alive, you don’t get to talk about ‘attractive’,” Shoma said, sitting down across from Itsuki. Yuzuru sat down at his side and scoffed.

“I can’t help I sweat a lot!”

“And I can’t help I don’t find you all gross and sweaty attractive,” Shoma countered with a smug little grin.

Yuzuru wiped the sauce off his lip with his thumb. “Messy,” he said, and Shoma just licked the sauce off his thumb, making him blush. Shoma just smirked and pressed a kiss to the pad of Yuzuru’s thumb.

“Uh, I’m still here, you sick freaks,” Itsuki said, and Yuzuru yanked his hand away. Shoma just rolled his eyes and took another bite of pizza.

“You’re so immature,” Shoma said and Itsuki let out a loud scoff.

“HA! Yeah, I’m immature for not wanting to watch my brother _licking some guy’s finger_ ,” he said, scoffing. “You’re disgusting is what it is.” He frowned suddenly, looking horrified. “Ew, wait, the crazy sweating thing, does that apply to _anything_ active, not just skating?” he asked, looking between the two of them with a horrified look.

Yuzuru blushed suddenly and Shoma just ducked his head with a groan. “Itsuki, why are you like this?”

“Ewwww, gross,” he said, cackling as sat back with his pizza. “So when you do it, it’s like a bar of soap-“

“You’re the one that’s disgusting,” Shoma countered, eating more pizza. “You really want to think about me having sex?” he asked, and Itsuki suddenly looked horrified.

“Oh God, that’s what I’m doing. Nooooo,” he whined. 

Yuzuru laughed at the horrified look on his face. “Just for that, we’re going to have really loud sex at some point this trip,” he said, and Shoma laughed with him as Itsuki stood up from the table, grabbed an extra slice of pizza, and took off running. 

Shoma dropped his pizza he was giggling so hard, and Yuzuru felt those butterflies again. It was crazy how Shoma being happy made him feel them in a way nothing else ever had before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the ratings change!

They couldn’t go out on a date, but honestly, Yuzuru enjoyed just doing nothing with Shoma way better. They spent their first night sleeping in front of the video game they both fell asleep playing, two entire days just eating junk and watching anime, and the only time the left the house, it was because Shoma had to go to practice. He had gotten time off training, but on the condition that halfway through the week, he came in and practiced. Yuzuru had offered to stay home with Itsuki and watch baseball so that he didn’t have to tell his coach what Yuzuru was doing visiting him, but Shoma decided it was time. Since Yuzuru had told his mom, he could tell Mihoko. 

“Are you scared?” Yuzuru asked, but Shoma shook his head, smiling.

“I trust my coach will accept me. Didn’t yours?” he asked, and Yuzuru made a face.

“Well, he’s also an openly gay man, so I had a good reason to think he would accept me,” he pointed out.

Shoma smiled confidently and, once they were inside the rink’s winding hallways, he slid his hand into Yuzuru’s, looking up at him with such a happy face that Yuzuru couldn’t bear to point out how dangerous it was. He liked a happy Shoma. 

~

Shoma’s coming out didn’t work as well as he hoped, and Yuzuru found himself curled up on Shoma’s bed, holding him while he fought tears. His coach hadn’t been disgusted in him, but the whole situation ended up being bad. She warned him against it. She told them both they would be better off breaking up now before anybody else found out. Essentially, all she wanted was for Yuzuru to disappear and for Shoma to not put his career in jeopardy by being gay, especially since he wasn’t, he was bisexual, so there was a chance for him to pass as straight. She didn’t think Shoma was disgusting, but she didn’t want any part of their stupid and damaging decision to risk their careers like that. 

Shoma had been silently upset his entire practice, and the whole way home he didn’t want to talk. When they got home, Itsuki was gone, and Shoma went upstairs silent as a shadow. Yuzuru followed him, and when he saw him standing in the middle of the room looking lost, he wrapped his arms around him and told him it would be okay. He didn’t really fall apart, not like Yuzuru would have, but he did wrap his arms around Yuzuru’s waist and hang on tight, shaking just a little bit. 

They had been lying in bed since, and every time Yuzuru thought Shoma was going to cry, he held it back. After a while, Yuzuru sighed and kissed the top of his head. “You can cry, you know? I’m here for you. You can be weak around me.”

“I was so sure,” Shoma whispered weakly. “I thought it would be okay.”

Yuzuru rubbed his back. “Well. She doesn’t hate you,” he encouraged. “She’s just worried about your career.”

“Itsuki didn’t tell me to worry about my career,” Shoma whispered. “We’re careful. I’m careful. I just want to be happy.”

Yuzuru’s heart ached. “I want to make you happy,” he said softly. 

Shoma lifted his head and looked at Yuzuru, and his red-rimmed eyes made him feel terrible. “You’re doing good so far,” he said in a weak voice. Yuzuru stroked his hair gently. “Seriously,” Shoma said, looking at Yuzuru closely. “Coming here and showing that you mean it, telling your mom even when I told you you didn’t have to, and- and just making me feel like you care about me more than you have before.”

Yuzuru smiled and stroked his cheek gently. “I’m not the best boyfriend, but I’m trying to be better. It makes me happy to hear you say I’m doing better so far.”

Shoma finally laughed and a tear broke free. “I’m glad I didn’t tell her when you weren’t here for me.” He laid his head on Yuzuru’s chest, and Yuzuru held him close as he finally cried. He kissed his head and rubbed his back, comforting him as best he could.

However, after a little while, Yuzuru felt a hand sliding under his shirt. He frowned slightly, glancing down to see Shoma’s hand worming its way up his shirt. “Sho?”

“Mmm?” Shoma mumbled, his fingertips skating up Yuzuru’s ribs under his shirt. 

For all their jokes with Itsuki, Yuzuru nor Shoma had tried to get up to anything even kind of sexual so far. It wasn’t that Yuzuru didn’t want Shoma, or that he didn’t think Shoma wanted him, but the goal of this trip was to be a better boyfriend and prove he loved Shoma. Also, Itsuki was just down the hall, so Shoma felt really uncomfortable with the thought of having sex two doors down from his baby brother. Yuzuru would understand why that would be far from alluring. 

Now, however, Itsuki had gone out, and Shoma’s fingers were tracing across his abs teasingly. “Sho, we don’t have to-“

“I want to,” Shoma whispered, and when he looked Yuzuru in the eyes, the want was visible, but there was also a vulnerability Yuzuru wasn’t used to seeing. “Don’t- don’t you want to?”

Yuzuru nodded slowly. “I basically always want you,” he confessed, and Shoma gave a nervous smile before pushing himself up on his elbow, sliding his hand down from Yuzuru’s stomach to his crotch. Yuzuru’s throat bobbed when he felt Shoma’s hand cupping him over his pants. He leaned down and kissed Yuzuru, and Yuzuru responded, brushing his hand along the outside of Shoma’s hip as they kissed. For some reason, Shoma’s vulnerability made Yuzuru feel nervous, too. He moaned softly as Shoma’s touch began to arouse him. Shoma seemed encouraged, and he moved to straddle Yuzuru. 

Yuzuru smiled against his lips and rested his hands on Shoma’s waist. Shoma smiled and laid down on top of him, kissing him again. Yuzuru moaned as Shoma slowly rocked their hips together. He put his hands on Shoma’s ass, squeezing slightly. Shoma’s lips moved to his throat and Yuzuru arched, moaning. Shoma loved his neck, and Yuzuru didn’t have a problem with that. “Do you- oh,” Yuzuru moaned as Shoma kissed a spot that made his back arch. 

“Lube and condoms? Yeah,” Shoma said, sitting up. He got off the bed and went to dig something from a bottom drawer in his dresser. When he came back, he smiled shyly as he crawled up the bed. 

Yuzuru spread his legs and smiled as Shoma crawled up his body and kissed him. They kissed and ground together, carefully exploring until their clothes started coming off. Once they were naked, Yuzuru was aware of a strange shyness about the way Shoma touched him. He could feel it, too. There was just something about this time that felt different. It was only when their bodies were tangled together in pleasure, his legs wrapped entirely around Shoma as he filled him in the most perfect way, that he looked into Shoma’s eyes and realized why this felt so different. 

It felt like a first time. 

Shoma looked into his eyes as he thrust into him him, and the look in Shoma’s eyes was more real than Yuzuru remembered it being before. They had slept together plenty of times in the half a year they had been together, but this felt like Shoma was finally _truly_ giving himself over to Yuzuru. “Sho,” he breathed, looking into his boyfriend’s eyes lovingly. He curled his hand around Shoma’s neck, pulling him down to kiss him. Shoma moaned into the kiss, one hand around Yuzuru’s thigh as he thrust into the tight heat of his body. 

Yuzuru always loved the feeling of having Shoma inside of him, their bodies finding a perfect rhythm to achieve ecstasy, but this was different. It was intense. It was better in some ways, because he was able to really focus on Shoma. Shoma had opened up to him and shown him vulnerability, and he was trusting Yuzuru with that part of him in a way he had always withheld before. Yuzuru knew why, and he knew it was his fault they hadn’t been together this way before, but it still felt so different. 

It felt special. 

As Shoma looked into his eyes, he looked right back, seeing only Shoma. There was no other man in his mind when his body reached the height of pleasure, there was only Shoma. And when Shoma followed, he kissed him through his shaking and trembling, reluctant to let go of Shoma after such emotionally intense sex. Shoma seemed to be in a similar situation, because he only left long enough to dispose of the condom and get a cloth to clean them up with. Afterwards, he crawled back into the bed, and Yuzuru welcomed him with open arms when he flopped onto Yuzuru and snuggled into his chest. 

“You looked me in the eyes,” Shoma whispered, and Yuzuru hummed curiously. “When you came, you looked me in the eyes.” He lifted his head and smiled at Yuzuru. “You were thinking about _just_ me,” he whispered hopefully. 

Yuzuru smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I was.” He pressed their foreheads together. “That was… intense,” he confessed, and Shoma kissed him sweetly, just an innocent caress of lips that felt so odd considering their far-from-innocent states. 

“I feel better now,” Shoma murmured with a shy grin. 

Yuzuru’s heart ached mildly for how upset Shoma had been, so he hugged him closer. “I far prefer you with that beautiful post-sex glow than trying not to cry in front of me,” he murmured, kissing Shoma again. 

Shoma smiled sadly. “It hurt,” he confessed, and Yuzuru nodded.

“I know. Thank you for being honest with me and- and showing your true feelings. Having you stop hiding your pain in front of me made me feel like you trust me. I still have a lot of trust to earn, but thank you all the same.”

Shoma hugged him and pressed his face into Yuzuru’s neck. “Just hold me until I take a nap,” he said, voice muffled by Yuzuru’s skin, and Yuzuru only chuckled and held him close. 

“You and your naps.”

“Shhhh, nap time.”

~

They should have had time to luxuriate in waking up together, curled together in a loving embrace, resting after emotionally intense love-making. Instead, Yuzuru found himself startled awake by Itsuki’s voice shouting, “MOM AND DAD ARE HOME EARLY PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!” and a pair of jeans smacking him and Shoma both in the face where they lay tangled together. 

Shoma took a moment to blink in confusion, always the heavy sleeper, but Yuzuru sat up, not caring Itsuki could see his naked chest as the covers fell away. “Oh shit, what?!” he asked, grabbing the jeans. They weren’t his, but he shoved them under the covers and pulled them on anyways. Shoma was stocky and he was skinny, so he had no problem fitting into them, they would just be short. “Sho, wake up,” he urged, buttoning the pants as he talked to him. “Wake up, Baby,” he whispered, kissing his earlobe. “Wake up.”

“Mmm, did you just call me ‘baby’?” Shoma mumbled, rolling around to flop against his hip, only to blink when he felt denim against his face. “What’re you doing in my jeans?”

“MOM AND DAD ARE HOME EARLY YOU SLEEPY BASTARD!” Itsuki hissed, throwing another pair of pants at the bed. Yuzuru finally looked at him and found it amusing that he was holding a hand up to shield seeing them as he grabbed clothing off the floor and flung it at them. “You’re so lucky I’d rather sacrifice my innocent eyeballs than let my brother get busted, I swear to God-“

“Shoma? Itsuki?” a voice called up the stairs, and Shoma finally sat up, eyes wide enough he looked like a baby deer. 

“Oh no!” He scrambled to grab the pants off the bed and yank them on under the covers before flinging the bedding back, running around to grab their shirts. “Here, Yuzu, shit,” he gasped, and Yuzuru caught his shirt, pulling it on before stumbling out of the bed to right the covers. Itsuki had gone when he looked up, which was good, because he had to hide the box of condoms and bottle of lube they had carelessly tossed onto the floor. He shoved them under the bed as far as he could reach and ran over to the TV, turning it on and starting up a video game while Shoma scrambled around, shoving their underwear into random spaces behind furniture. He rushed to open the window to air out the room, so it didn’t smell like people just had sex in there, and by the time they heard footsteps nearing, Yuzuru flung him a controller and they started a random game just as they both flopped onto the bed, looking innocently towards the TV. 

“Shoma? Itsuki says you have a friend over- oh!” Shoma paused the game and Yuzuru stood up immediately standing behind the bed so she wouldn’t see how short his jeans were. “Hello,” she greeted politely. “It’s nice to meet you, Hanyu-san.”

He bowed politely. “Thank you for having me as a guest. Your home is lovely,” he said with practiced ease. Shoma looked mildly panicked still, but Yuzuru was used to faking it for cameras. His boyfriend’s mother was no different. “Shoma invited me to come visit. We rarely see each other, so we didn’t think about the fact you would not be here. I’m very sorry for not asking if I could stay.”

She smiled and looked at Shoma, who gave a little weak smile. “Oh, that’s fine. I’m just happy to have Shoma bring a friend over. He rarely spends a lot of time with anybody but his brother, so even if we know he has many friends, his father and I are more than happy to have one of his friends spending some time with him.” She bowed her head. “Don’t let me interrupt. I was just coming to greet our guest.” She started to leave, but then noticed the window. She tutted and crossed the room, shutting the window just as Yuzuru scrambled to sit and hide his short jeans from her. “Shoma, you know better than to leave a window open like that. That’s how people break in and steal things,” she chastised, bowing once again to the boys as she left them, leaving his door open. 

Shoma let out a heavy breath and flopped back onto his bed, flinging an arm over his eyes. “Oh my God.”

Yuzuru cleared his throat awkwardly. “Would- would you like to swap pants now?” he asked, and Shoma let out a startled giggle. He lifted his arm and looked at Yuzuru.

“That was close. I owe Itsuki a present or something. Oh man.” He sat up and nodded. “Yeah, your pants are huge. How are you so tall?” he complained, standing up to go find their underwear. “I think I aged twenty years now,” he said, and Yuzuru laughed at how funny the situation was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there won't always be so much smut hahahaha

The last two days he was with Shoma, he had to sleep in the guest room and move all his stuff there, but every night, Shoma snuck in and ‘fell asleep playing video games’ so they could be together. They didn’t want to risk anything romantic again while his parents were home, but Yuzuru found that he really liked curling up across from Shoma and watching him sleep. Even if Shoma was on top of the covers so he couldn’t cuddle with him, he enjoyed having him close. For the first time, this trip made him feel like he and Shoma were _really_ boyfriends.

When it came time to go home, he was surprised when Shoma offered to drive him to the airport. “I didn’t know you could _drive_ ,” he said, shocked at the sight of Shoma climbing behind the wheel of his father’s car. Yuzuru felt a little anxious about riding with _Shoma_ driving. 

“I’m an adult, of course my dad taught me to drive,” Shoma said, putting on sunglasses that were, admittedly, pretty sexy looking. It made him look like a really cool guy, not just a nerdy little skater. 

“I take the bus everywhere,” Yuzuru confessed. “Or here at home, I hire a car.”

Shoma chuckled. “And you made fun of me for being rich,” he teased. Yuzuru’s heart leapt some when, once they were out on the road, Shoma reached over and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together on the center console. Yuzuru smiled and could feel his blush as he turned to look out the window. He squeezed Shoma’s hand a little and sighed. It felt so different than he had ever felt when holding hands before. It was so casually affectionate, and he really liked it. “What’s your face even doing right now?” Shoma asked, laughing as he looked over at him at a traffic light. 

Yuzuru bit his lip but smiled sheepishly. “I’ve started getting butterflies when you do sweet things,” he confessed. 

Shoma smiled, though it looked a little strained. “You’ve always given me butterflies.” 

Yuzuru felt guilty and hated that he couldn’t see Shoma’s eyes behind the sunglasses. “Sho,” he whispered, but Shoma squeezed his hand and shook his head. 

“It’s okay. This is what I wanted,” he said with a little smile. “I want you to love me the way I love you. I can’t be bitter you didn’t always if I want you to start.”

Yuzuru lifted their hands to his face and kissed the back of Shoma’s hand. “I’m trying,” he said, and Shoma nodded, smiling a little less forcedly this time.

“I know.”

At the airport, Shoma parked far enough away from the terminal in a parking garage so that he could get dressed in his ladies disguise again. Instead, their goodbye kiss ended in them crawling into the backseat and making good use of the tinted windows. Shoma laughed as Yuzuru hit his head, and Yuzuru just pushed him down onto the seat, kissing him to shut him up. “Mmmm, this is dangerous,” he murmured as he pushed Shoma’s shirt up and ducked down, kissing his chest and then brushing his lips over Shoma’s nipple to make him arch and his breath hitch. 

“We can stop,” Shoma offered in a strained tone even as he put a hand in Yuzuru’s hair, guiding him downward gently. 

Yuzuru giggled. “No, I want to,” he said, kissing his stomach and then further down. “Just let me.” He unbuttoned Shoma’s jeans and pulled them open. “Lift your hips,” he said, and Shoma grunted as he arched off the seat, letting him pull his jeans down far enough to get a hand down his boxers. He pulled Shoma free and shifted up to hover over Shoma and kiss him as he stroked him to hardness. “I’m gonna miss you,” he murmured between kisses, and Shoma curled his fingers in Yuzuru’s hair, kissing him deeper. 

“You, too, Yuzu,” he said, and Yuzuru could hear the desperation in his voice. He masked it by pushing up into Yuzuru’s fist and groaning. “Make me miss you more,” he teased, and Yuzuru chuckled but smirked at him as he pulled away and lowered himself back down, scooting until he could take Shoma into his mouth. Shoma grunted, hips flexing at the first touch, but Yuzuru held his hips down with a hand across his lower stomach as he bobbed his head. Shoma pushed his hair back from his face and Yuzuru looked up, moaning at how wrecked Shoma looked already as he stared at Yuzuru’s mouth around him. Yuzuru had an idea that he knew was a bad one, but he didn’t care.

He pulled off and panted slightly, looking at Shoma. “Do you want to fuck me?” he asked, and Shoma’s eyes widened.

“What? No, we can’t. We don’t have anything,” he said, and Yuzuru bit his lip. 

“I brought a few condoms just in case in my bag,” he said, and Shoma raised an eyebrow.

“But we don’t have lube,” he said, and Yuzuru shrugged. 

“There’s lube on the condoms,” he said, reaching over into the front seat to grab his bag. “I can take it,” he said, and Shoma shuffled around so he didn’t get kneed in the ribs as Yuzuru dug around and came back with a condom. 

Shoma looked worried. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Yuzuru said, and they both shuffled around to get their shoes and pants off. They were both a little winded by the time they got settled, Yuzuru sitting on Shoma’s lap as he leaned back against the door so Yuzuru’s head didn’t hit the roof. Yuzuru laughed and Shoma grinned, hands on his thighs to hold him steady. “This is ridiculous,” he said, and Shoma laughed.

“I cannot believe you’ve talked me into sex in an airport parking garage in the backseat of a car,” he said, and Yuzuru just grinned and winked as he started licking his own fingers, getting them as wet with spit a possible before reaching back behind himself. Shoma’s eyes widened. “Shit,” he said, and Yuzuru winced at the awkward angle for his wrist as he opened himself up as much as he could. “You okay?” Shoma asked, and Yuzuru laughed in frustration. 

“My wrist hurts but it’s okay. I don’t need my wrist for training when I get back to Canada,” he said, biting his lip at the sting of half-assed prep. He didn’t want to let Shoma know, though, because he could take a little pain if it meant getting a proper goodbye. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

“Yeah?” Shoma asked, and Yuzuru nodded. Shoma opened the condom and put it on, looking a little skeptical about there being enough lube just on the condom, but Yuzuru didn’t leave enough time for him to worry. He shuffled forward, knees on either side of Shoma, and reached down to guide Shoma into him. It took a little more force than he was used to to get it inside, but once it was in, the slide to take him all the way inside was more what he was familiar with. It wasn’t as painless as he would have liked, but it wasn’t bad. He still felt a throb of arousal at having Shoma inside of him. Yuzuru _really_ liked Shoma’s dick. 

“Oooh, move,” Yuzuru moaned, riding him as best he could, but in the confined space, he needed Shoma to thrust up as well. It took them a while to find even a decent rhythm, but before long, they were both panting and sweating in the hot backseat, already tinted windows fogging on the inside. There was only so much they could do, and it was far from the best sex they had ever had, but Yuzuru felt a desperation he hadn’t ever felt before when leaving Shoma. He felt like if he fucked up while they were apart again, Shoma might leave him, and he really didn’t want that. He looked into Shoma’s eyes, gasping as he saw the same desperation in them. 

“Yu-Yuzu,” he panted, reaching up to tug Yuzuru down to an impossible angle for both of them just so they could kiss. Yuzuru whined desperately, hands sinking into Shoma’s hair to bring him closer. Yuzuru confusingly felt a lump in his throat as he looked into Shoma’s eyes, and he just rocked harder onto Shoma inside of him, fighting the lump in his throat with almost painful pleasure, whining desperately at the perfect angle. 

“Shoma, Shoma, Sho- oh fuck!” he panted, and Shoma scrambled to get a hand around him between them, stroking him out of rhythm with their thrusts. Shoma’s abs flexed with the ferocity of their bodies’ rhythm, and Yuzuru gritted his teeth as every thrust found that perfect angle even if it the pleasure was laced with a little pain. He could feel his orgasm starting at the base of his spine and tingling in his fingers and toes and he whimpered. “Baby, I’m close,” he gasped and Shoma moaned, sitting up at an angle that let him bury his face in Yuzuru’s neck and bite and suck at that spot he had found months ago that always made Yuzuru quiver. Yuzuru compensated for Shoma’s lack of bracing and fucked himself down on to Shoma harder and faster until Shoma let out a hoarse grunt and lost rhythm. Yuzuru felt the throbbing of Shoma coming and it tipped him over his own precipice. He let out a little shout, body seizing as he spilled all over Shoma’s hand, wrist, and stomach. He let out a sob of pleasure, digging his nails into Shoma’s chest where his hands braced himself without thinking. 

It was only when they both collapsed, panting and gasping and trying not to fall into the gap between the seats, that Yuzuru looked down and realized he had drawn blood. “Oh God,” he rasped, pulling his hand away to see white lines with little droplets of blood coming to the surface on Shoma’s pectorals. “Sho, I’m sorry,” he panted, but Shoma was looking at Yuzuru’s throat with wide eyes. 

“Shit, I gave you a major hickey,” he said, looking guilty. “Yuzuru, I’m so sorry,” he said quickly.

Yuzuru slapped a hand to his throat and hissed at the tenderness he met. He carefully lifted himself off of Shoma and moved to check his neck in the rearview mirror, gaping when he saw the bruise just below his ear where not even a turtleneck could cover it. He looked back at Shoma, who was pulling his shirt up from where it had fallen back, looking at his chest where Yuzuru had reached under his top and scratched him. “Damn. Good thing I’m wearing a black shirt.”

Yuzuru whined in embarrassment, putting his hands over his head as he flopped back onto the seat, only to hiss when his ass hit the seat. “Oh man,” he said, wiggling his hips and wincing. 

Shoma’s eyes widened. “Are you okay?” He leaned over him, brushing a hand over his thigh. “Are you hurt?”

Yuzuru smiled sheepishly. “No. I’m just going to be sore.” He gave a bashful giggle. “It’s my fault, though. I told you it would be okay.”

“Yuzuru,” Shoma groaned. “I told you I didn’t want to hurt you-“

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Yuzuru kissed him sweetly. “I wanted it.”

Shoma pouted. “Still, I feel guilty.”

“Don’t. When you have to go home in a car smelling like sex and explain why your hair is all crazy and you have bleeding claw marks on your chest, you’ll feel justified,” Yuzuru teased. Shoma whined in embarrassment, and they both shuffled around to get dressed. Once Yuzuru was dressed, he got out to get his disguise out of the back and hummed as he pulled on the ladies coat. “This collar is actually a good thing today,” he said, popping the coat collar to cover his neck. 

Shoma giggled as he put Yuzuru’s hat on him. “You’re too tall to be a girl,” he said, standing on his toes for one last peck before he moved the mask in place. Shoma’s eyes softened some when Yuzuru tugged him into a hug, leaning their foreheads together. “I’ll miss you, Yuzu.”

“You, too,” Yuzuru said with a sad twinkle in his eyes. “But you can come see me,” he reminded him. “I won’t treat you like a friend, I’ll introduce you to my mother now that she knows and everything.”

Shoma chuckled softly, brushing a lock of hair off of Yuzuru’s forehead. “That’s kind of terrifying, but you offering means so much to me.” 

When they finally said goodbye, Yuzuru refrained from looking back at the parked car behind him as he headed to the elevator, because he knew if he did, he might run back for one last kiss. Leaving Shoma had never felt like this before, and though he knew that was a good thing for their relationship, it still hurt in a way he didn’t know how to handle.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens. Sad stuff. Poor Shoma.

Yuzuru wasn’t sure if anybody believed his lie about falling down the stairs for why he kept wincing every time he fell on a jump, especially when people kept looking at the hickey on his neck, but his tenderness only lasted the first day back at practice and the teasing about his hickey only lasted until Brian threatened to take them all halfway across town and make them run the whole way back.

Shoma, however, kept sending him pouty selfies of Itsuki laughing himself to tears every time Shoma’s chest where Yuzuru clawed him got itchy and he absently scratched them. It took days for the scabs to come off and the skin to heal, and Yuzuru kept smiling and laughing at every single selfie, even when it made Shoma pout more. 

He couldn’t wait for Shoma to get time to come see him. He missed him already, which was crazy when the months apart before never bothered him all that much. 

~

Shoma was coming to see him. Yuzuru cheered loudly when Shoma sent him a screenshot of his seat confirmation on his flight, and he ran to tell his mother. “Mom!” He ran into the kitchen, dancing around. “Mom, Shoma is coming to see me! He can stay here, right? Or no, is that inappropriate?” he asked quickly, rattling things off. “Yeah it’s probably inappropriate, he can get a hotel room. But he can come over, right? We had so much fun just sitting around playing video games and I really liked just having him with me, so I definitely want him to come over some. I’m so excited!” he gushed, playing with his hair the way he always did when he got nervous as he jumped around. 

“Yuzuru.” He stopped and finally looked at his mother, who was looking at him with a soft, gentle smile. “You really love him, don’t you?” she asked, and he blushed.

“I- I want to?” he said tentatively. “It’s- it’s been hard,” he admitted. “We’ve been working on things for a while now. Since the ice show. But our relationship is a lot better since I went to see him. And since I told you,” he confessed. “I wasn’t a very good boyfriend for a long time, but I think I’ve really earned more trust since I told you and Brian. I want-“ He blushed, feeling bashful talking about it with his mom. “I want to deserve him.”

Yumi cooed. “You’re so cute,” she teased, reaching out to pinch his cheek. “My little baby, being a responsible man with a real relationship.” She chuckled. “He can stay with us, but when I’m home, the door stays open,” she said with a pointed look that made him blush. “You’re a grown man, but I still do not want to walk in or overhear anything,” she said he groaned.

“Moooom, gross.”

“Oh, like I didn’t see that kiss mark on your neck,” she said pointedly. “You’re twenty-three, not thirteen.” 

He smiled nervously. “I hope he likes staying here. His house is huge,” he said, looking around their small apartment. They didn’t live in Canada but part of the year, so they had a very small apartment for Canadian standards. “His family is really, really rich,” he commented. “I didn’t know that, but wow. He says his mom has shoes that cost more than his skates!” 

Yumi gave him a teasing grin. “Dating a rich boy, huh? Good thing you’re pretty,” she teased, and he laughed and swatted at her hand, rolling his eyes.

“Mom, please.”

She reached out and caught his hand, pulling it into both of hers. “I’m happy for you,” she said sincerely. “And I’m proud that you’re trying to be a good man for him. I may be scared because of how cruel others can be, but never think I’m not so happy to see my baby find love. Your happiness is all that matters to me. And he makes you happy. I can see it.”

Yuzuru beamed, nodding. “He really does.”

~

Knowing that Shoma would be arriving tonight was really making it hard for Yuzuru to focus on his day, and he nearly left his skates at home when he left to go to practice. He was so excited. Shoma was in the air right now, on his way to Yuzuru. He was walking on a cloud of happiness as he entered the rink, and he almost missed the fact there was already a handful of people on the ice. What caught his eyes was a big quad sal he knew very well. He gasped, a smile covering his face when he heard a familiar accented voice talking with Brian. “Javi!” he cried, waving from the side of the ice.

Javi skated over and met him with a big hug. “Yuzu, how are you doing?”

“I am good,” he said, laughing as he looked at Javi’s face. “Why you are here?”

Javier grinned. “I’m still going to do nationals and Europeans this year, even if I don’t do anything else. Brian’s helping me get everything down so I can practice at home.”

Yuzuru beamed. “I so happy you here.” He hugged him again. “Today is best day. Much good stuff happen today.”

“Yuzuru! Go get ready and give me my skater back. You can catch up later,” Brian called, and Yuzuru giggled sheepishly as he pulled away.

“Bye bye,” he said, waving as he took off at a jog for the locker room. He was so excited. This was going to be a great day. 

~

After he finished training, Brian let Yuzuru play around on the ice with Javi, knowing how long it has been since he saw his friend. “I can’t believe you are here for four whole day!” Yuzuru said brightly as he laughed at Javi attempting a beillman after he challenged him. 

“Yes, if you don’t kill me first,” Javi complained as he gave up trying to make his back arch so much. “You are a noodle,” he accused with a breathless chuckle. He skated up to Yuzuru and grabbed his wrists and waved his arms around.

“Javi stooooop!” he whined, giggling. He tugged and just wobbled until Javi released his arms and caught his waist to steady him.

“I’ve got you,” he laughed.

“You become pairs skate now?” Boyang teased as he skated past, warming up for his own training. 

“I would love but boy can’t do girl part,” Yuzuru said. “I like being high over head! Always get boy pair skater to lift when during exhibition!”

“Yeah, because you’re about the size of most ladies pairs skaters,” Javi teased, tickling Yuzuru’s waist until he squeaked and fell against Javi’s chest laughing.

Yuzuru didn’t think anything of their position until he heard Jason's voice by the rink entrance. “Oh my God, Shoma-kun, hello!” 

Yuzuru turned around in Javi’s arms in surprise. However, when he saw Shoma’s blank expression as his eyes looked at Yuzuru's waist, he realized Javier’s arma we’re still around him. “Jabi,” he whispered, grabbing his wrists, and Javier let go with a curious eyebrow raise.

Yuzuru started towards the edge of the ice, but Jason had already got there and was chatting with Shoma. “I can’t believe you were coming and didn't even message me, we always get together when we are in the same place,” he said with a big, friendly smile. 

Shoma gave him a little smile, which for Shoma was about the same, and shrugged. “I figured someone would have mentioned Yuzuru was taking time off training to spend with me this week so you would already know.”

Jason looked surprised and smiled at Yuzuru when he got there. “Aww, I didn’t know you two were that close enough to visit. You’re such a good friend, Yuzu-kun, “” he said sweetly. “And Javi is here this week, too! Wow you get to be the social butterfly of the club this week!”

Yuzuru's stomach dropped when he saw Shoma’s eyes grow guarded before meeting his gaze. “Yeah. Yuzuru is a friendly guy,” he said in a flat, emotionless tone. “A really affectionate 'friend' too,” he added and Yuzuru knew he was in trouble for sure then.

“Well, message me later and we can hang out before you leave!” Jason said, clearly missing the tension (or choosing to ignore it) as he bowed his head to Shoma and skated away, getting back to training.

Shoma didn’t say anything as he stared at Yuzuru with a look that seemed empty but showed hurt in his expressive eyes. “Sho, I can explain-“

“I’ll be outside when you’re done,” he said in a tight voice. 

“We we’re just playing around and-“ 

Shoma ignored him entirely and walked away, letting the rink door swing shut behind him. 

Yuzuru looked around and Javier gave him an apologetic smile and nod as he went back to practicing stuff.

~

Yuzuru walked outside and found Shoma sitting on a bench, looking so small with his shoulders slumped and his head down. Yuzuru sat down beside him gently and Shoma sighed. “I wanted to surprise you,” he said in a tiny voice, his words muffled by his position. “Guess I wasn’t a welcome one.”

“That’s not true,” Yuzuru said quietly, clasping his shaking hands between his knees. “I just was in a position that I knew you wouldn’t like and I got flustered.”

Shoma chuckled humorlessly. “I fly halfway around the world to see my boyfriend and the first thing I see is the man he’s actually in love with holding him against his chest. Imagine how much that hurts, Yuzu.”

Yuzuru felt a swell of guilt. “Javi is just very touchy. He is only my friend.”

“Just because you aren’t cheating on me with him doesn’t make it not hurt to be reminded that you would,” Shoma whispered.

“No I wouldn’t,” Yuzuru said desperately. “If he came to me tomorrow and tried to seduce me, I would say no! I would never do that to you.”

Shoma sighed. “But if he said he loves you, I would be on the first plane home.” Yuzuru wanted to deny it, but he knew Shoma wouldn’t believe him. He was pretty sure it wasn’t true, but a tiny part of Yuzuru still dreamed of that fantasy. It was just that, a fantasy, but it still was there to hurt Shoma. “And on top of that, I can’t even talk to my friend about us because you are still treating me like your friend only.”

Yuzuru ducked his head. “I didn’t know you meant to all my training mates. I didn’t know you expected me to tell anybody but Brian and Mom you were coming.”

“You know Jason is my friend and he didn’t even know I was coming, even as your friend,” Shoma said in a frustrated tone. “And I won’t out you so I have to lie about my visit. If I tell him I’m staying with you, he will want to know why, and if he asks to hang out at my hotel I have to say no and risk hurting a friend.”

Yuzuru frowned. “I didn’t know you were that close.”

Shoma gave a derisive snort. “Well he’s no Javi to me.”

Yuzuru sighed heavily. “Javi is my friend. You can’t ask me to stop being friends and not trying to make him change who he is.”

“I’m not jealous of him,” Shoma said urgently, like he was trying to make Yuzuru understand. “I am just hurt. I don’t want to change your friendship with him, but it hurts to see you with him. I don’t want him to leave you alone, I want you to-“ He stopped and Yuzuru leaned forward to see his face as he hunched in and looked at the ground. 

“Sho?”

Shoma looked up with unshed tears in his eyes. “I want you to look at me the way you look at him.”

Shoma’s voice was weak and he sounded like his heart was breaking and Yuzuru felt like a failure. “Can I hug you?” Yuzuru asked, and Shoma nodded rapidly. Yuzuru wrapped his arms around Shoma and Shoma trembled against his chest.

“I just hate being reminded and I feel like nobody knowing about us is a way to keep the option to pretend it never happened open and then I feel bad for pressuring you to come out and I’m sorry I got mad, but I’m tired from flying and I was excited to surprise you and the first thing I see is you looking at him like he is your boyfriend not me-“ Yuzuru had never seen Shoma cry so openly. He always fought to hide his emotions and now the tears was flooding out with his words. He was exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed and Yuzuru felt guilty, but he also felt an intense need to make everything better for Shoma.

Yuzuru was surprised because though he wouldn’t say he was selfish, he was used to not needing to be strong for someone. Yuzuru just wanted to make Shoma smile. He wanted to make it stop hurting. “I have one more group jump training session tomorrow morning. I will tell them all why I’m taking the rest of the week off. I will tell the whole rink that I’m going sight-seeing with my boyfriend. You can go hang out with Jason and tell him why you’re here.”

Shoma sniffled into his shoulder. “No, ignore me. Please don’t do it if you aren’t ready. You never have made me do things I don’t want to-“

“No you aren’t making me,” Yuzuru said firmly. He pulled back and looked Shoma in the eyes. “I didn’t think about how it would seem that I don’t want to tell people I know won’t tell others. I am not afraid of what my training mates say. Brian would never allow gossip or trash talk. I am not afraid, I was just thoughtless.”

Shoma looked at hopeful Yuzuru wanted to kick himself. “You really want them to know about me?”

“My boyfriend is Shoma Uno, how jealous will some of them be?” he said in a teasing tone.

Shoma’s little smile made Yuzuru feel invincible.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter >.<

Yuzuru took Shoma to get some coffee on the way to his house. Shoma had sent his things there already and came straight to the rink, so when they got home, there were bags in the hallway. “Mom? I’m home!” he called.

“Yuzuru, did Shoma make it okay? He did not arrive with his bags.”

Yuzuru smiled at Shoma and curled their fingers together as he led him to the kitchen. “He came to see me at the rink,” he said just before they went into the door. 

She turned around and smiled when she saw them standing there. “Hello, Uno-san,” she greeted. “I am so happy to meet you.”

Yuzuru smiled when Shoma blushed and bowed. “T-thank you for having me in your home.”

“You are always welcome to visit Yuzuru,” she said, then looked around. “Well, Yuzuru and I don’t eat a lot of meat, but he told me you don’t eat many vegetables, so I’ve been waiting for you to decide what to cook for dinner. I have beef, pork, and chicken. I figure we’ll eat it all before the week is out. What would you like tonight?”

Shoma looked stunned, turning to Yuzuru for help, and Yuzuru smiled warmly and nudged him. “You can pick. I won’t eat any, but I am sure my mom has missed eating meat.”

Shoma bowed his head. “Um, I- I really like beef. If that’s okay with you.”

Yumi smiled warmly. “How about some lovely beef yakisoba?” she asked, and Shoma smiled tentatively, nodding. “Oh, don’t be so shy, Dear,” she said, walking over. Yuzuru giggled some when she grabbed Shoma’s hands and made him look at her. “My Yuzuru has never had a boyfriend before, I really am happy to have you here. He needs a good man to keep him from getting too full of himself.”

“Moooom!” Yuzuru whined, but Shoma smiled and nodded.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I am so happy you approve.”

“Approve? I’m thrilled!” she said with a laugh. “You’re far more handsome in person than on television, and that is saying a lot.”

“Okay, we’re going to play video games,” Yuzuru said, stealing his boyfriend away from his mother, smiling at her as he did so. He was so happy she liked Shoma. 

~

Shoma looked around Yuzuru’s bedroom curiously. “Do… do I sleep with you?” he asked, smiling sheepishly.

Yuzuru beamed. “Mom said you can, but the door has to stay open,” he said, winking. “She doesn’t want to overhear anything.”

Shoma groaned. “Ew,” he said, then smiled as he flopped onto Yuzuru’s bed. “You have a big bed for how small this room is.”

Yuzuru shrugged. “I like to sprawl. So much time living in hotels makes me enjoy a double bed. At home I have legs and arms hanging off the bed.”

Shoma hummed. “You didn’t sprawl with me,” he said, and Yuzuru smirked, flopping onto the bed beside him.

“I like cuddling.” He looked at Shoma and leaned closer. “I miss you when you aren’t with me,” he said, then pecked Shoma’s cheek. Shoma giggled and Yuzuru’s heart nearly burst. It was his favorite sound in the whole world. Shoma’s laugh was addictive. He was such a reserved person – even for a Japanese boy – and his giggles and laughs were beyond beautiful. 

Shoma sat with his legs crossed and reached out to take Yuzuru’s hand. “I’m sorry. For earlier. I’m just-“

“Please don’t apologize.” Yuzuru bit his lip, feeling a wave of guilt. “It was a bad reunion, but you aren’t wrong. And you’re exhausted. It’s okay to be emotional.” He squeezed his hand. “I want to be better. You know this. I’m trying, Sho,” he said softly. “You’re- you’re everything to me. I just have to show you this.”

Shoma smiled tiredly. “I want to believe you,” he said softly. “I really do. It’s just hard. You’re Yuzuru Hanyu.”

“And you’re Shoma Uno,” he said simply. Yuzuru leaned over and pressed their foreheads together. “Please feel free to nap if you want,” he whispered, and Shoma’s eyes crinkled adorable.

“Okay.” He leaned in and sealed their lips together, and Yuzuru melted into the soft, innocent kiss. He was getting used to Shoma’s rough lips, and he was starting to like it better than soft. He had kissed boys with plush, soft lips before, but Shoma was important, so that rough, chapped kiss was starting to grow on him. 

“Yuzuru, do you- aww!” They jerked apart, both of them flaming red, and Yuzuru’s mom smiled from the doorway, her hands clasped on her chest. “That was so adorable!”

“Mom!” Yuzuru whined, covering his face as he dove back against his pillows. “Oh my God, I’m an adult!”

“But you’re so sweet with your boyfriend!” she cooed, and he whined helplessly. “Anyways, do you know where you left the tongs after you made toast?”

“Under the cabinet,” he grumbled into his pillows. “Not that you’ll need them when I smother myself from shame!”

“Psh, I still have to feed Shoma,” she said, then tutted and walked away.

When Yuzuru raised his head, Shoma was bright red still, and he held up a hand. “Want to nap and pretend that was a bad dream?”

“Yes, please,” Shoma said, flopping down beside him, grabbing his own pillow to hide his face in. 

~

Since Shoma had jet-lag and Yuzuru had napped with him before dinner, when they curled up to go to sleep, facing each other with their hands laced between them, neither of them could sleep. Shoma snickered softly and Yuzuru hummed curiously. “What?”

“You really do keep that tissue box everywhere.” Yuzuru turned his head and saw Shoma was looking at Pooh-san on his dresser.

Yuzuru huffed out a small laugh. “Pooh-san watches over me when I sleep.”

“Pooh-san,” Shoma giggled and Yuzuru gave him a dramatic pout.

“Pooh-san is my friend, don’t be mean to him, he won’t like it.” He giggled at his own silliness. “No, but seriously. I like having somebody to talk to when I think a real person will think I’m crazy. And he makes me feel safe. He’s seen me at my worst, so I can fully trust him.” Yuzuru winked. “And he’s small and soft for snuggling.”

Shoma hummed teasingly. “I’ve got competition, huh?” he said, playfully looking over at Pooh-san with narrowed eyes. “Get your own boyfriend, Bear.”

Yuzuru laughed but settled down and wiggled closer, moving to lay his head on Shoma’s shoulder, sliding his arm around Shoma’s waist. “You’re not that small. I mean you are very small, but you’re a man, not a teddy bear.” He nuzzled his cheek into Shoma’s chest. “Not nearly as soft, either. You look a little chubby in photos, but you’re just solid muscle. It’s ridiculous.”

Shoma moved and stroked Yuzuru’s hair comfortingly. “You’re just a noodle,” he teased and Yuzuru pouted up at him. Shoma smiled, kissing his forehead. “You’re a beautiful noodle, but a noodle.” He stroked a hand down the side of Yuzuru’s waist. “It’s ridiculous that you have such good core control with such a long, slender body.”

Yuzuru hummed tiredly. “I used to wish I looked more like Javi or some of the other skaters, all masculine and muscled. But as I got older, I only got more curvy, and I realized it gave me an advantage. Even though it’s just visual, not skillful, I look more beautiful doing my flexible moves. I kind of blend between beauty like a lady skater and power like a male skater. I can be beautiful and graceful without sacrificing my power.”

He looked at Shoma, who grinned down at him. “I always wanted to be taller. My grandfather was always so sure I would get taller, but I never did. But I don’t mind as much,” he admitted. “I don’t look like a child anymore finally, and my size lets me control my landings better. And when I fall, I don’t have to worry as much as some others about injuries. There’s less force and less gangly arms and legs flying.”

Yuzuru admired Shoma’s jawline and laughed to himself. “I will admit, you went from a baby-faced boy to a handsome man really fast. From Worlds 2017 to the Grand Prix that fall, you lost the baby fat cheeks and suddenly you were all cheekbones and jawline and handsome adult man.” He reached up to stroke a finger along his jawline. “I like it.”

Shoma scrunched his nose at the feeling of Yuzuru’s finger on his face, but just tickled his waist in return. “I love your curves,” he confessed, cheeks a little pink. “I like women and men, but it isn’t like you’re a man who feels like a woman or something, it’s just that you have an incredible figure. You’re beautiful more than handsome, but still in a manly way.”

“Tell me more about how beautiful I am?” Yuzuru purred and Shoma poked him in the belly to make him squirm. Yuzuru enjoyed just looking at Shoma. The silence didn’t feel awkward as they gazed into each other’s eyes. It wasn’t sexually charged, it was just a quiet comfort. It was nice and content. Because of that, Yuzuru was surprised by Shoma’s next words. 

“I don’t meant his in an accusing way, but do you think you would like me more if I were big and gorgeous like Javier?” Yuzuru blinked in confusion and Shoma smiled sadly. “He’s taller than you, and his muscles are big, and he looks just like a ‘man’ should.”

“No,” Yuzuru said honestly. He reached up, cupping Shoma’s jaw. “You’re sexy to me, Sho. And even if you weren’t, I like you for who you are more than how you look.” He smirked. “Besides, Boyang is hotter than you or Javi,” he said, and Shoma let out a bark of laughter.

“ _Boyang_? Really?” he asked, and Yuzuru nodded with a dreamy sigh. 

“He has cool hair always, and I love his eyes, they’re cute, and his nose is cute, and he’s got the biggest jumps,” he said wistfully. “He’s like you. He was such a cute little boy, then suddenly he shows up gorgeous.”

Shoma made a face. “Not that he’s not cool and all, but _Keiji_ is hotter than Boyang!”

Yuzuru hummed and nodded. “I can see that. Keiji is kind of cute.” He grinned. “What skaters do you think are hot?” he asked and Shoma hummed, then blushed. “Oohh, who are you thinking of?”

“Nathan,” he confessed quickly, and Yuzuru laughed. “It’s just true! He’s a little young, but he’s just got that face.” He shook his head. “And then obviously Jason.”

Yuzuru laughed in disbelief. “Jason?!”

Shoma gave him a very serious look. “Yuzuru, have you seen his abs?”

Yuzuru hummed, trying to think. “Actually, I don’t think so.”

“He has abs on his abs,” Shoma said seriously. “Javi’s abs aren’t as good as Jason’s abs. It doesn’t look like it in a shirt, but we went swimming one time at a hotel in juniors, and I think that made me hit puberty,” he said so solemnly that Yuzuru couldn’t stop giggling. 

“Nobody will ever beat Daisuke, though,” Yuzuru said, and Shoma nodded.

“Definitely.” They shared a look and laughed together, shoving each other as they giggled. 

When they finally settled down and fell asleep, Yuzuru did so with the sound of Shoma’s heartbeat under his ear and a hand stroking his hair gently until he drifted comfortably off to sleep. 

~

Yuzuru was early to practice in the morning and wasn’t surprised to see Javi there. He felt a pang thinking of how he had left Shoma sleeping with a kiss goodbye. Shoma had been so upset about Javier being there, but Yuzuru couldn’t feel guilty for enjoying his friend being around. 

“Hey, what happened yesterday?” Javier asked quietly as they skated side by side to warm up, syncing up after years of training together. 

Yuzuru sighed and dropped his head back. “Shoma knows,” he said in barely more than a whisper. “He know how I felt for you,” he clarified, and Javier looked grim.

“Yikes. That’s bad, but you’re with him. Clearly he has to know you chose him. He has no reason to be jealous that you used to have feelings for me,” Javier said and Yuzuru bit his lip and gave him a guilty smile.

“He is not jealous because he start date with me already knowing I did not love him,” he explained. “Shoma and I got together, and he know all along. Even at ice shows,” he confessed. “We have sad talk about how I- I love you, but I am with him. The night you find me at the bar?” He shook his head. “We talk about maybe breaking up, but he says then he would hurt worse than be with me and know I do not love him.”

Javier stopped skating, looking at Yuzuru with a sad look. “Yuzuru… I thought when you got with him, it meant you go over that crush.”

Yuzuru sighed in frustration. “It is almost all gone, now, but I only really get serious for Shoma when I realize how bad I hurt him by being bad boyfriend. I am with him. I only want be with him,” he said firmly. “But he has love me so long. I am his Javi,” he explained, and Javier gave an understanding nod. “I only want friends with you. Nothing change that,” he said seriously. “Even if you go crazy and try to seduce me, I do not want. He is my boyfriend and I want be a man who deserve him.”

Javier smiled encouragingly. “That’s good. And I see it, Yuzu. You are so happy with him,” he said fondly. 

“I make him cry,” Yuzuru said with a strained smile. “He was so excited to surprise me but first thing he see is you hugging me, and after long flight and thinking this visit be like when I visit him, it just hurt him. I never see him cry before, not really, but he cry and then apologize for being hurt. I hate it,” he said strongly. “He never should apologize for me being bad boyfriend. If I treat him right all this time, he would not doubt feelings. He know you do not want me and he say he is not jealous, he just is hurt that I look at you with love still.” Yuzuru sighed. “I only love as friend. I do,” he said firmly. “I just must look at you same as always. But I do not want to. He is best thing to happen to me, Javi. I have to make him feel this way.”

The doors opened, preventing Javier from commenting further, but he slapped Yuzuru on the shoulder and gave him an encouraging smile as he skated over to where Brian was coming in with the rest of the elite skaters. There would be men and women together this session, so it would be a busy one. Yuzuru was almost glad he got to take off the rest of the week after this. However, because he was taking time off, he got the most attention and scrutiny. “Yuzuru! What was that edge? Concentrate!”

“Wow, what did Yuzuru do to piss you off today, Coach?” Gabby asked as she skated past, adjusting her gloves. “You’re going to make his legs fall off.”

Yuzuru waved his hands, giggling. “No, no, I am taking off practice for rest of week. He just is making sure I get in enough instruction because you all will be doing training when I am being lazy all week.”

“Ooohh, Yuzuru Hanyu taking time off? Shocking!” Evgenia said from the boards where she and Jason were chatting and getting water. 

Jason popped up. “Oh, you guys weren’t here! Shoma came to visit Yuzuru. He didn’t even tell me he was going to be here so we could hang out, too. So rude,” he joked. 

“Shoma? Why is he visiting?” Evgenia asked, and Yuzuru’s heart began racing. He looked over at Javi, who looked worried for him, but instead, he thought about Shoma’s face when he cried about having to lie to Jason about why he was there. 

Yuzuru knew he might regret it, but he didn’t stop the words that came out of nowhere. “Shoma is my boyfriend. He visit me before season begins and we are too much busy to visit.”

Javier and Brian both looked startled, but Jason just smiled big and bright. “Really?! Awwwww, that’s so cute! I didn’t even know Shoma dated anybody since he never talks about it. It’s so sweet he came to see you!”

Evgenia giggled and squeaked a little and Yuzuru had to fight a cringe thinking about how much of an otaku she was. “Oh my God, how long?! Have you been dating in secret forever?! When did you-“

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” Brian shouted from the wall. “Jump training, not ‘gossip about dating’, that’s what we’re doing here today.” Everybody groaned but went back to skating their jump passes, careful of each other. “Also, just a reminder, not that I think you all need it, but any rumors started about any of your rink mates will not be tolerated. And if I didn’t get mad enough, trust me, you don’t want to tangle with the JSF. I tried to get out of the part of the contract that made me look after Yuzuru’s damn Pooh bear when he first moved here. If they can threaten to sue me for tissue box damages, they’ll ruin your career over rumors about their two best skaters.”

Yuzuru giggled. “Good thing you learn to love Pooh-san so we do not have problem with skater and coach relationship, huh, Brian?”

Brian gave said tissue box a distasteful smile and Yuzuru cackled evilly on his way past as he lined up for another jump.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy some sweet, fluffy, boyfriend fun!

When Yuzuru got home, Shoma was still sleeping. He smiled at his sleepy boyfriend, and then went to get showered and changed before heading to find his mother.

“Mom?” he asked as he looked into her room and saw her reading. “I am home.”

She smiled. “Is that man of yours going to sleep all day? It’s eleven already.”

Yuzuru smiled fondly. “He is bad with jet lag. He also naps a lot anyways.”

“Hmm. Well, what do you have planned?” she asked. 

Yuzuru beamed and leaned back against the door with a sigh. “I am taking him out on a date. We never go on dates. I hope he likes it.”

“Well, you better not let him sleep the day away,” she joked and he nodded before leaving.

When he got to his room, he decided jumping on top of Shoma was the best way to wake him up. “Shoma!” he cheered as he flopped on top of his sleeping boyfriend. However, Shoma just mumbled and didn’t move. Yuzuru laughed. “Baby, wake up,” he cooed, leaning down to kiss his face. 

Shoma’s squirmed but didn’t wake. Yuzuru smirked and pressed kisses down his jaw. He wiggled a hand under the covers to tug his shirt out of the way so he could kiss his neck. Shoma moaned softly, rolling his to expose more neck, and Yuzuru chuckled. Shoma had to be part sloth. Since cute wasn’t working, Yuzuru decided to go for impish. He tugged the covers off of Shoma’s lower half and drew back and slapped him on the ass hard. Shoma jolted awake with a yelp and Yuzuru fell over cackling.

Shoma looked around in confusion before focusing on him. “What? What happened?” He frowned and reached down to rub his butt. “Did you _spank _me?”__

__Yuzuru giggled. “You are so hard to wake up!” He kissed his forehead. “Get up and get ready to go out. I’m taking you on a date!”_ _

__“A date?” Shoma frowned. “Isn’t that risky? What if we’re seen?”_ _

__Yuzuru shrugged. “Toronto isn’t Japan. We’re just a couple of Asian guys having lunch here. If anybody notices us, it will be very surprising.”_ _

__“What about people who know you just from living here?” Shoma asked and Yuzuru scrunched his nose._ _

__“I don’t go out a lot, so that’s not a problem.” He swatted him on the butt again, earning a grumpy whine. “Now get up! Time to go out on a date!”_ _

__Shoma grumbled more but got up and did as he was told. Yuzuru went to check the weather and make sure he had all his things, so he was surprised when Shoma came down the hall with wet hair and just a towel around his shoulders, his phone in his hand. “Yuzuru, why did Jason text me about not telling him I had a boyfriend?” he asked quickly._ _

__Yumi looked up from her book. “Oh? Isn’t that the sweet boy from your rink?” she asked Yuzuru, and he smiled bashfully._ _

__“Um… this morning I kind of just told everybody why Shoma’s visiting when they asked why I was taking the rest of the week off,” he admitted._ _

__Shoma looked up and blushed when he realized Yumi could see him shirtless and he stepped behind Yuzuru, cheeks pink. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Hanyu.”_ _

__“Oh dear, trust me, these Canadian boys go around with no shirts on all the time. I’m not bothered anymore,” she said. “I’m more curious about Yuzuru’s story.”_ _

__Shoma stepped back around him again, eyes wide. “Yeah, that, what did you do?”_ _

__“I told them I was taking the week off to spend with you, because you’re my boyfriend and we won’t be able to see each other very much once the season starts,” Yuzuru said bashfully._ _

__Shoma’s face was carefully blank for a moment and Yuzuru feared he had messed up. But then, slowly, his eyes brightened and a shy little smile curled his lips. “Really?” he whispered, and Yuzuru nodded. “Yuzuru… you didn’t have to do that.” He fussed with his towel. “It’s not a really big deal-“_ _

__“You were sad you had to lie to your friend. Now you don’t have to,” Yuzuru said simply. “And they know they can’t gossip. It’s fine. I’m not ashamed of you. I’m dating the hottest guy currently in all of Canada,” he teased, catching Shoma’s hand in his. “Janny would _kill_ to be your girlfriend,” he added and Shoma snorted, rolling his eyes. _ _

__“Janny really does have a crush on me. It’s weird. She’s nice though so it’s okay.”_ _

__“She squeaked when I told them,” Yuzuru said, and Shoma sighed._ _

__“Oh boy.”_ _

__~_ _

__Yuzuru regretted letting Shoma pick where they went on their first ever date more than most things he ever regretted. He watched Shoma eating his _tenth_ chicken nugget and pushed the lettuce of his salad around on his plastic plate. “Burger King, Shoma,” he said flatly. “Our first date ever, and you pick _Burger King_.”_ _

__Shoma smiled as he chewed, his cheeks puffing out from all the food in his mouth, and he just nodded. Yuzuru really wondered why he liked him sometimes. It was not very attractive to watch his boyfriend stuff his face with fast food and then wash it down with a cup of something Yuzuru was sure had more sugar than liquid. “My coach isn’t here to stop me eating my weight in chicken nuggets, Yuzuru. This is more romantic than anything you’ve ever done for me,” he said jokingly. “Nothing says ‘good boyfriend’ like buying you six orders of chicken nuggets!”_ _

__“I hate you sometimes,” Yuzuru said in disgust, and Shoma just laughed and ate another chicken nugget. He ate the limp, not-very-appetizing lettuce of his salad – avoiding the seemingly unending number of bacon chunks on the salad, not to mention all the cheese, and thought for a moment how Shoma was right, nothing said ‘good boyfriend’ like suffering through such a disgusting meal just to make Shoma happy. Yuzuru couldn’t help but smile at the warm feeling in his stomach when he thought about how this was probably the last proof he needed that he was falling in love with Shoma._ _

__Yuzuru’s own sister would have been left to get her own damn food while he went to find a more suitable meal for himself._ _

__After their meal, Yuzuru suggested they go for a walk in the park he liked. “You need exercise now. You just consumed so much fat and salt and calories you’re going to blow up like a balloon if you don’t walk it off,” he teased._ _

__Shoma just smirked and bumped their shoulders together. “You’re becoming a better man for me, remember? You shouldn’t insult me.”_ _

__“You ate twenty-seven chicken nuggets, insulting you is for your own good,” Yuzuru said bluntly. Shoma giggled and rubbed his probably aching belly. Yuzuru sighed and reached over, grabbing his hand. “Come on, you,” he said, sliding their fingers together to guide him to the best path._ _

__Shoma looked at their hands and Yuzuru smirked when he saw the shy little smile on Shoma’s lips. He was going to be the best boyfriend he could._ _

__~_ _

__“Hey, Jason wants to go sight-seeing,” Shoma said from his spot sitting beside Yuzuru, the two of them just peacefully enjoying watching some people play with a dog from their spot on a bench, Yuzuru’s arm around his back affectionately. Yuzuru looked at him and raised his eyebrow questioningly. “This afternoon. Are you okay with me going out with him?” Shoma asked, “I could just stay. I like staying with you,” he added and Yuzuru cooed. It warmed his heart that Shoma didn’t want to leave him._ _

__“Shoma, he is your friend. You can go hang out,” he said, nudging him. “I can’t keep you hidden away if you have friends here.”_ _

__Shoma smiled suddenly. “Maybe I can ask if we can all go? A group sight-seeing trip.” He started texting and Yuzuru contented himself to just lean back in the bench and just watch Shoma’s concentrated little frown in the sunlight. He was so beautiful. Yuzuru adored his cheekbones and his jaw. Shoma was such a handsome man. “Oh,” he said, looking surprised. “Jason says he’s going to invite a few people. That sounds fun, right?”_ _

__Yuzuru smiled and nodded. “Sure. We can have a better ‘date’ than chicken nuggets,” he teased and Shoma rolled his eyes._ _

__~_ _

__Shoma and Yuzuru met everybody at the bus stop near the rink and Yuzuru was surprised to see Jason had brought Javier and Evgenia with him. “Nobody else wanted to have any fun,” Jason said when Shoma greeted them all._ _

__“You two do most all the sight-seeing there is already,” Yuzuru teased, but Jason and Evgenia just denied it, rolling their eyes dramatically. Those two were hilarious friends. Yuzuru was still surprised someone so outgoing like Jason was friends with Shoma. “So, what plans for today do we have?”_ _

__“Well!” Jason said excitedly. “Shoma mentioned he wanted to go to CN tower if he came back to Toronto before, so I figure we can start there and then see what happens?”_ _

__“We have to go to St. Laurence Market,” Javier offered. “Shoma is a man after my own heart who enjoys a good amount of food. He will appreciate it more than this heathen ever did,” he said, poking Yuzuru in the side._ _

__Yuzuru scoffed. “Shoma eat twenty-seven chicken nuggets at our lunch one hour past. If he eat more today, he will die,” he said seriously._ _

__Jason laughed and switched to Japanese. “Twenty-seven chicken nuggets, Shoma? Really?!”_ _

__Shoma smiled smugly. “Yuzuru should have guessed what was coming when he offered to treat me to lunch.” Yuzuru rolled his eyes and translated for the others._ _

__~_ _

__Yuzuru didn’t go out often, so it was fun to laugh and have fun with friends. It was like a gala practice but without any figure skating involved. It was also surprisingly nice to be openly a couple with Shoma around people. They kept taking photos everywhere they went and posing together. Yuzuru’s favorite pose was his and Shoma’s silly ‘wedding post’, their arms hooked together as Shoma giggled adorably every single time. It was also adorable how, when they had to get on the subway, there was only standing room and both Shoma and Evgenia, who were about the same height, couldn’t reach the bar so they had to hang onto each other, laughing when they stumbled back against Javier’s body where he braced the two of them every time the train stopped._ _

__“It’s not funny,” Evgenia said, though she laughed with them at Shoma’s terrified squeak when he almost fell over if not for his hold on her middle._ _

__Yuzuru reached out and grabbed Shoma’s hand, tangling their fingers together through a gap between Javi and Jason. “It’s hilarious,” he teased, and Shoma rolled his eyes bashfully, but didn’t let go of his hand. He could only imagine what people had to think about such an international group of young people laughing like mad every time somebody the train stopped and took off again._ _

__When they finally got off the train, Shoma and Evgenia hooked arms and ‘ignored’ the rest of them after their teasing as they led the way, in spite of neither of them knowing there Jason was taking them. Shoma, being Shoma, spotted at Starbucks and steered them all that way, ignoring Yuzuru berating him for wanting _even more_ calories. Even though Shoma’s English was still basically nothing, he knew how to say, “I want largest ice caramel latte,” well enough. _ _

__“So much sugar,” Javier said, cringing. “You’re going to get fat!”_ _

__Shoma rolled his eyes and went to wait for his drink, so he must have understood that much. Yuzuru just laughed and elbowed Javi. “He should be fat for sure. He eat so much and only exercise he has is practice!” He ordered his own iced tea without sugar, since he felt like a cool drink too, and went to wait with Shoma, who was already chatting with Jason, who was waiting for his own sugary concoction. “If you throw up, I’m breaking up with you,” Yuzuru teased and Shoma just smirked._ _

__“You would miss me too much,” he flirted, and Jason laughed in surprise._ _

__Yuzuru figured he may as well play along and he leaned closer, ‘whispering’ in Shoma’s ear, “Just your sexy body.”_ _

__Shoma laughed, though he blushed, and grabbed Yuzuru’s wrist, tugging him playfully. “I wouldn’t miss your noodle body and all your ridiculous arms and legs. I swear, you have extra ones somewhere. I wake up with you wrapped around me like an octopus.”_ _

__Jason snorted. “Some things I wish I didn’t know in Japanese,” he said, though it was obviously just teasing. Shoma blushed but smiled all the same. Yuzuru loved how easily Shoma blushed. “Oooh, yummy!” Jason got his drink and handed Shoma his, leaving Yuzuru to gape in horror at the monstrosity in Jason’s hands. It was giant, colorful, had whipped cream and syrup on top and looked like an extra three miles at the gym._ _

__Shoma snorted. “And he has better abs than any of us,” he reminded Yuzuru, making Jason roll his eyes and swat at his arms._ _

__“Oh, stop it.”_ _

__Once they all had their drinks, they took off again, Jason and Evgenia leading the way now, leaving the other three to follow. Yuzuru felt a warm sense of happiness at the way Javier walked with an arm around his shoulders and, instead of being jealous, Shoma just held his hand on the other side and talked to Javier the whole time in broken English and broken Japanese respectively._ _

__~_ _

__Shoma had been to a place similar to CN tower before, Yuzuru learned, but Yuzuru never had. The view was pretty astonishing. He felt a little dizzy looking down through the glass floor, but Shoma just kept messing with him and Evgenia by bouncing on his toes between them, cackling evilly when they cursed and grabbed onto him to stop him._ _

__“You’re a lot less fun to hang out with suddenly,” Evgenia complained, swaying a little as she looked down through the glass with wide eyes. Javier laughed and ruffled her hair as he and Jason caught up from taking photos._ _

__“Don’t worry, we don’t like him that much either,” he said with a teasing grin Shoma’s way._ _

__Yuzuru saw Shoma start to bounce again and stepped off the glass back onto the solid floor. “Okay, I’m done here, I’m going to look out the window in front of me, not beneath me!”_ _

__He stood with his hands on the rain, looking out at the city for a moment before Shoma joined him. Shoma rested his chin on Yuzuru’s shoulder, hugging him around the middle. “Enjoying the view?” he asked, and Shoma hummed an affirmative. When Yuzuru looked at him, he found Shoma’s eyes on his face instead. Yuzuru giggled bashfully, rolling his eyes. “Oh my God, stop it,” he whined._ _

__Shoma just smiled and tightened his hold around Yuzuru’s middle. “You’re my favorite thing to look at always. You’re my favorite person.”_ _

__Yuzuru felt a warm rush and couldn’t help but turn to face Shoma and kiss his forehead. “You’re my favorite person, too.” He smiled into Shoma’s hair bashfully, clutching at his waist just a little tighter._ _

__“Awwww, they’re so cuuuuute!” Yuzuru laughed when he heard Evgenia cooing at them to someone. He picked his head up and smiled over at the group while Shoma whined in embarrassment and hid his face in Yuzuru’s neck instead._ _


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is organized strangely but I really like it for some reason. I noticed nobody really read the last chapter, so I'm sorry if you guys didn't like it as much, but hopefully you enjoy this one better!

They spent all afternoon sight-seeing, but finished the night getting dinner at a café with a jazz band playing on the patio. Jason was the first to drag Evgenia to go dance, swirling her around much to the amusement of the people sitting at their tables eating, and then Javier grabbed an unsuspecting Yuzuru and dragged him to dance as well, the both of them laughing as they joined the other pair. They kept swapping partners, and Jason dragged Shoma out of his seat, ignoring how he shook his head the whole time but eventually gave in, dancing with Jason while Evgenia filmed it. 

Yuzuru saw Shoma’s eyes straying to the way Javier’s hands rested on Yuzuru’s waist every time they ended up together and he felt bad to see sadness in those eyes. When Javier had Shoma and they were dancing, Yuzuru walked up to them and smiled. “I can have a turn?” he asked, and Shoma stepped back, clearly expecting him to take Javier’s hand, but instead he stepped up and wrapped his arms around Shoma’s shoulders, pressing their bodies close. Shoma blushed but put his hands on Yuzuru’s hips, looking up at him nervously. The song that started was slow, and Yuzuru laughed when he heard their friends all cooing at the way he rested his cheek against Shoma’s temple. 

“This is so embarrassing,” Shoma complained, but Yuzuru cooed. 

“It’s romantic,” he said, closing his eyes and swaying with the music, holding Shoma close. “We’ve never danced together before,” he mumbled and Shoma huffed out a small laugh.

“I hate dancing.”

Yuzuru pulled back a little, looking down into Shoma’s eyes. “We can stop if you really want to,” he said apologetically, but when he pulled back, Shoma tightened his hold on his hips and bit his lip bashfully. 

“It’s romantic,” he said with a shrug, and Yuzuru beamed, leaning his forehead against Shoma’s.

“You’re so sweet to me,” he mused, brushing his thumb over the side of Shoma’s neck. “I’m so lucky.”

Shoma gave him a wan smile. “Sometimes I feel like if I don’t try my hardest to keep you, you’ll slip away from me.”

Yuzuru’s chest tightened and he crushed Shoma into a hug, pressing his face into Shoma’s neck, hunching so he could cling to him tightly. “I’ll hold on tighter, then,” he said through a tight throat, because he hated that he had done this to Shoma. Made him doubt himself, made him doubt how much he meant to Yuzuru. “I’m not letting go until you do, Shoma,” he breathed.

“Don’t promise things you can’t know you’ll keep,” Shoma murmured, pressing a kiss to his neck. “I love you, Yuzuru. That doesn’t mean you have to feel the same.”

Yuzuru hugged him even tighter, refusing to let Shoma’s doubt get any worse.

~

After being out so late the night before, Yuzuru wasn’t shocked when Shoma fell asleep not long after lunch, dropping his controller to the floor beside the couch. Yuzuru smiled and pulled Shoma over so he could sleep on his lap, not have his head lolling at a weird angle, and he just held him there, stroking his hair as he thought about the things Shoma said the night before. Shoma was so sweet to him, and he tried his hardest to deserve it, but somehow, he still failed to make it clear how important to him Shoma was. He knew that after eight months of this, Shoma had to be getting tired of waiting. 

He didn’t want to lose Shoma. It hit him so hard that he felt it like a fall to the ice knocking the air out of his lungs. He didn’t realize he had released a tear to slip down his cheek until a hand appeared in his vision with a tissue. He looked up at his mother and silently took the tissue, drying his eyes. She frowned a little and touched his forehead. “Come on, I’ll make tea,” she said softly, and he nodded. 

After carefully shifting Shoma to lay on the couch, Yuzuru pressed a kiss to his sleeping face and stood, leaving him there to go to the kitchen and find his mother. She was already putting water in the kettle and he pulled himself up onto one of the barstools they had in lieu of a dining table. She looked at him and he knew that, like all moms, she saw every bit of his worries. “What’s wrong, Yuzuru?”

He deflated some, releasing the tension from his shoulders he hadn’t meant to hold. “I’m- I’m not a good boyfriend,” he confessed. “I’ve told you that much. I didn’t tell you how.”

She nodded expectantly. “You said you haven’t always been a good boyfriend. You seem to be a pretty good one now.”

Yuzuru nodded. “I got together with Shoma knowing I was still in love with someone else. He knew it, too. Up until about two months ago, he still knew I loved someone else more than I did him. I broke his heart and it made me decide I wanted to deserve him. I’ve worked so hard these past two months to try and earn his love, but every step I take forward, something makes him doubt me again.” He sniffled, wiping at his cheek. “I would choose him even if the other person came up to me today and said, ‘Yuzuru, you’re the love of my life’. I want Shoma, not him,” he stressed. “I’m not lying to my self about this, either.” He put his hand to his chest. “He’s here. Shoma is- he’s right here. Every day. I just can’t make him believe me.”

Yumi tutted softly, reaching out to wipe the tears off his cheeks. “I believe you, Yuzuru. You look at him with so much love,” she said with a sad smile. “But Shoma’s a quiet boy. And if you hurt him so badly before, maybe he just has trouble believing it.” She gave him a knowing look. “Especially if the one week he gets to come see you, the other man is also in Canada.” Yuzuru blushed and Yumi grinned. “You’re my son. You think I never noticed which of your fellow skaters gets hugs instead of high-fives?”

Yuzuru made a face. “He’s just my friend. We know each other better than most anybody. I only want his friendship now. I think Shoma showed me what was wrong there. Infatuation isn’t love. He’s my friend and I got infatuated. But Shoma’s special.”

“Of course he is,” she said with a fond grin. “When you found out he was coming here, you had the same reaction you did when you set your first world record,” she said and his eye widened in surprise. He had no clue.

“Really?”

“It’s the exact same one,” she teased. “Nervous energy and so much happiness you get shaky. I watched you fluttering around messing with your hair and fidgeting with everything when I said he could stay here. You take skating more seriously than anything in your life. You devote everything to your sport. So seeing you have such a similar reaction to your dream as your boyfriend was very telling.” She grabbed the mugs for their tea since the water was finished heating and looked up at him as she poured. “That was the moment I realized you really were in love.”

Yuzuru’s stomach twisted and he wrung his hands, thinking about that one little word that meant so, so much. 

Love.

~

Yuzuru and Shoma were only human, and mother or no mother, they only made it until Wednesday before they took the thirty-minute window of Yuzuru’s mother going out shopping to have sex.

Twice. 

“Oh my God, this is a terrible idea. She’s going to come home and know we’re both in here,” Shoma groaned, though he didn’t stop Yuzuru fucking him against the shower wall. 

“Can we please not talk about my mother while I’m inside of you?” Yuzuru hissed, we skin slapping against each other. 

Shoma suppressed a moan, resting his forehead against the wall as he let Yuzuru do all the work. He was still tired from round one. Half the time, the only way he got Yuzuru to top was telling him he was too tired to fuck Yuzuru. Yuzuru was so weirdly into being fucked he didn’t often want the other way around. Shoma liked both, either way was good, but he figured Yuzuru liked being the center of attention, even during sex. He snorted in amusement, and Yuzuru made an offended noise against his shoulder.

“Are you laughing? During sex?” he demanded, fucking Shoma just a bit harder, clearly trying to get his attention. 

Shoma snickered again. “I’m tired, you know I get giggly when I’m tired,” he defended. 

“This is why I don’t like to top, I’m clearly not good at it,” Yuzuru said, though he didn’t show any signs of wanting to stop. “If I was doing this right, you wouldn’t be focused on anything else.”

Shoma grunted a little as Yuzuru’s hard thrust hit him just right. “No, you’re good. This is good. I’m just tired.” He sighed when Yuzuru’s hand curled around his erection. “God, this is a stupid idea. We already nearly got caught by my mom, are you sure you want to get caught by yours?”

“Shut up,” Yuzuru groaned, and Shoma grinned, because nothing said, ‘been together for a while’ like basically having a conversation during sex and Yuzuru still getting close enough to come. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Shoma- unnnng!” Shoma hissed at the feeling of Yuzuru throbbing inside of him as he spilled into the condom. 

Yuzuru slumped against him some and Shoma wiggled free so that Yuzuru would slide out of him. “Okay, really, we have to get out-“

“No,” Yuzuru rasped, already pushing Shoma around and dropping to his knees. He looked gorgeous with water streaming over his delicately pretty face as he wasted no time sucking Shoma down. Shoma hissed at the sudden pleasure, but went with it, knowing Yuzuru would risk getting caught just to make sure he was ‘fair’. He slid his fingers into Yuzuru’s hair, gently and never tugging, and pushed it off his face so he could look at him while he pleasured Shoma. Yuzuru was usually pretty enthusiastic about blowjobs, so it was a mark of how tired he was, too, that he wasn’t moaning like a porn star. 

He did still pull off and stroke Shoma until he came all over Yuzuru’s face instead of in his mouth. “Fuck, you kinky bastard,” Shoma groaned, panting as pleasure coursed through his body. Of course, Yuzuru would pull something like that. Yuzuru just smirked and tipped his head back so the shower could rinse away the evidence of his kink. 

“Okay, really though, we have to get finished and get out,” Yuzuru giggled when Shoma helped him to his feet, and they quickly cleaned up and got out. 

Shoma was very confused by the way Yuzuru blushed but otherwise seemed unashamed when his mother got home and eyed their equally wet hair suspiciously but chose not to comment. 

~

Yuzuru had a great idea. The best idea. After almost getting them caught in the shower together because he was a man and had needs, he decided to apologize by taking Shoma out to do their favorite thing in the whole world.

Shoma just blinked. “You want to go skating. Seriously.”

Yuzuru frowned at his lack of enthusiasm. “Well, yes? You love skating, we both do.”

“I’m a figure skater, Yuzuru, you would think that on my week off, I might want to _not_ skate, right?” Shoma asked, and Yuzuru just frowned even deeper, looking like a confused cat. Shoma rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even bring my skates.”

“Ew, why not?!” Yuzuru asked, looking horrified at the thought. “I take my skates everywhere! What if I find an ice rink?”

Shoma gave him a suddenly very sappy look that made Yuzuru’s insides wiggle pleasantly. “See, this is why I’ll never beat you,” he joked, leaning in to press a kiss to Yuzuru’s cheek. “Nobody will ever love skating as much as you do.” 

“I think most of our friends probably feel the same,” Yuzuru started, and Shoma shook his head. 

“No,” he said firmly. “Most people go on vacation and ignore that they even own figure skating boots. Jason spent three weeks in the jungle one time, so he definitely didn’t take his skates with him.”

Yuzuru looked disgusted at the thought. “That’s horrible, no wonder he can’t jump quads,” he said, then immediately slapped a hand over his mouth, looking horrified at himself. “Oh my God, I’m a terrible person. I love Jason, he’s one of my favorite skaters of all time, I swear I don’t think badly of your friend, oh my God.”

Shoma doubled over laughing, resting his forehead on Yuzuru’s thigh. “You’re so bad,” he teased, and Yuzuru whined, pretending to hit him for being mean. Shoma sat up, looking at him with fond eyes that made Yuzuru feel lucky to be his boyfriend. “Tell you what. We can go skating, but only if we do it like teenagers on a date. No figure skating. Just holding hands and going in the circle.”

Yuzuru could do that, he thought. He brightened and nodded. “I know where a public rink is at a mall not far,” he said excitedly. He had never gone skating just to skate around. It actually sounded really fun.

~

“I had no idea regular skates were so painful,” Shoma said as he walked – without blade guards, which made him cringe – to the edge of the ice after lacing up a pair of rental skates. Yuzuru frowned, feeling guilty for the suggestion.

“Is it bad?” he asked, and Shoma shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just spoiled and used to custom boots,” he said, flexing his ankles a few times. “Are you sure nobody will recognize us?” 

Yuzuru grinned. “It’s summer, Canada, and there’s a hundred people skating here today.”

Shoma gave him a pointed look. “You’re _Yuzuru Hanyu_.”

Yuzuru grabbed his hand, curling their fingers together. “And you’re Shoma Uno.” He leaned in and pecked his cheek, blushing as he took off his blade-guards and stepped onto the ice, tugging Shoma with him. They started out skating to warm up like was natural, then realized what they were doing and laughed. Shoma tugged Yuzuru closer by his hand, pushing his hair out of his face. 

“So hey, want to go to the prom with me?” he joked and Yuzuru laughed.

“Pretty sure that’s America, not Canada,” he said then frowned. “I think. I don’t know really.” 

“You’d be gorgeous in a dress,” Shoma teased and Yuzuru just stuck his tongue out at him as they skated, falling into pace with the others there. The summer crowd was full of teenagers and children skating with their parent, and it was nice to feel normal. Yuzuru didn’t really know what it was like for any of these people, but he enjoyed looking at them living normal lives. There were two teenager, a boy and a girl, holding hands and smiling shyly at each other like it was a first date, and it hit Yuzuru that his and Shoma’s lives were so different. 

“I never went on a date in high school,” Yuzuru mused. “I didn’t really go to high school. I took exams and finished classwork between competitions. I moved to seniors at fifteen, so I had no time for school.”

Shoma nodded. “I went to school, but I didn’t do very well. I was too distracted by skating. I’m enrolled in university mostly as a name. I have one class at a time and barely do anything then.”

Yuzuru nodded. “I still haven’t finished and I’ve been taking online classes and doing homework for years now.” He chuckled. “The things we do for a sport that will leave us behind by the time we’re a third of the way through our lives.”

“It’s worth it,” Shoma said and Yuzuru nodded.

“It’s worth it.” He looked at a mother with her little child, cheering for him when he managed to stay on his feet. “I find myself thinking about the future, though,” he admitted. “Javi retiring for the most part was mostly because he’s ready to be a ‘grown up’,” he said, looking at Shoma. “He wants to get married and have a family. I want that too, some day.” He looked at how many people were there with kids about the age he was when he learned to stand on his feet on the ice. “We’re still really young, but I keep thinking about it lately. The future without skating and becoming more like my mom is to me, the one supporting their child’s dreams instead of thinking about their own.”

He was surprised when Shoma nearly stumbled over a gouge in the ice. “We?” he asked, and Yuzuru blushed when he looked at him to see panic in Shoma’s eyes. He ducked his head bashfully. He hadn’t meant to imply they would have children together one day, but it just slipped out. “Yuzuru?” Shoma prompted, and Yuzuru let go of his hand and skated away, so embarrassed and bashful after that moment. 

He decided to show off _just a little_ , because he was who he was and couldn’t help it, and he lined up a spread eagle and then shifted into an ina bauer, bending deeply as he made the curve of the ice. He saw a few people glancing at him and he did a little easy twizzle before skating back to Shoma’s side. Shoma laughed at him and shook his head. “You just can’t help yourself,” he teased, tangling their fingers together. “You have to be the center of attention.”

Yuzuru giggled shyly. “Is it a bad thing?”

Shoma shook his head, looking at him differently than Yuzuru was used to. “No. I’m happy to let you take the spotlight as long as you look back at me every time you’re done showing off.”

“I’ll always look back for you,” Yuzuru murmured, leaning his head against Shoma’s as they skated on, fingers laced between them comfortably.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only the epilogue left!!!! 
> 
> (Sorry it's been a while since I updated. I've been distracted.)

Yuzuru had never felt more loved than when Shoma stopped him as he started another game and put a hand on his knee. “Yuzuru.” Yuzuru looked at him worriedly and Shoma gave him a sweet little kiss, which surprised him. They had been mostly not being affectionate in their time playing games. “I know why you’re so distracted,” he said and Yuzuru instantly felt guilt.

He was distracted because he knew that Javier was getting on a flight tonight and he may not see him again until next summer. He was going to miss his friend a lot. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, but Shoma just slid his hand into Yuzuru’s and squeezed. 

“Listen to me,” he said, looking into Yuzuru’s eyes. “I don’t want you to be guilty about having a friendship. I want you to go spend the day with him.”

Yuzuru shook his head. “No, Shoma, this is your visit, I’m not going to-“

“I’ll go hang out with Jason if it makes you feel better,” he interrupted. Yuzuru pouted and Shoma kissed him again. “If I made you miss your friend you would be sad. I don’t want you to resent me for messing up your friendship.”

Yuzuru looked at him searchingly. “You really don’t care if I spend time with him instead of with you?”

“I trust you,” Shoma said and Yuzuru’s heartbeat doubled in speed. “I reacted badly that first day because it was a shock and I was exhausted, but I trust you.”

Yuzuru melted just a little bit when he saw the trust in Shoma’s eyes. “You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had,” he said, throwing his arms around Shoma.

Shoma snorted. “I’m the only boyfriend you’ve ever had,” he said but hugged him back.

~

Javier was leaving that night, but when Yuzuru called and asked him to meet for lunch, he was readily available. “I didn’t want to take away from your time with Shoma,” he confessed when Yuzuru asked how he thought he could leave without saying goodbye. He gave him a guilty smile. “I know our friendship has a downside for him.”

Yuzuru smiled softly. “I think we have really found trust lately,” he said softly. He giggled. “I am loving him.” He put his hands on his cheeks, shaking his head as he looked down at his salad. “Shoma trust me more and I feel more love.” He patted his chest. “Shoma is best part. He is in here. I feel much close to ready to say it to him.”

Javier beamed. “That’s great!” He reached out and took Yuzuru’s hands on the table. I really think you two can make each other happy.”

Yuzuru beamed and nodded. “He make me very happy.” 

Javier grinned. “So, with me leaving and no training and three more days with just Shoma, what all do you crazy kids plan to get up to?”

Yuzuru thought hard for a moment. “Probably sex,” he said bluntly and Javier dropped his hands, grimacing.

“Yuzuru Hanyu, I cannot believe you just said that out loud!”

Yuzuru giggled. “What? We are young and long-distance. Mother is home so we do not get chance much.” He winked. “Must get what is possible.”

Javier snorted, shaking his head. “Back to the love confession,” he said. “You think it will happen before he leaves this visit?”

“I have zero idea,” Yuzuru groaned. “I want it but I want it be best moment more.”

“That’s understandable,” Javier said with a small smile. “You’ve worked hard to get to that point. He needs to believe it when he hears it.” He looked at Yuzuru and shook his head. “Who would have ever though I’d live to see the day Yuzuru Hanyu found love for something other than the ice. I didn’t think it was possible.”

Yuzuru blushed but smiled. “I did not either. When I start with Shoma, I think it just fun with cute boy, but then… I don’t know.” He giggled. “One day he make me realize how he deserve to be love how he love me, and I look at feelings inside and realize I can do this. I can be this for him. And for long time, after realize how important he is in my life, I realize I already feel love. I just scared to let go of the thing keeping me back, not for fear of losing impossible thing, but in fear of opening heart for real.” 

“And now you aren’t scared?”

“Every bit of heart I open for him he fill with only happy,” he said with a soft smile. “I have more happy than I knew how than before. I feel like entire all of my life is better.” He sighed and put his hands on his cheeks. “Oh my God, I just- I just love feeling love. I never feel it before. I have no idea how better it makes everything.”

Javier grinned and nodded. “You can live a happy life without love, and for some that may be the best choice, but if you’ve met the person who makes you feel this way? Don’t let him go, Yuzu. Hang on to Shoma’s heart with everything you can. I never imagined little Shoma-kun would ever be the love of your life, but it sounds that way to me.”

Yuzuru’s heart skipped a beat and he realized Javier was right. Shoma had touched parts of his very soul that nobody else ever came near. He wanted to keep Shoma forever. Forever may not be possible, because nobody knew what the future held, but at that moment, deep in his heart, Yuzuru _wanted_ to hold onto him as long as he possibly could, and forever didn’t sound like a bad length of time. 

~

Shoma wasn’t back yet when Yuzuru got home and it made him sad. He was so sure that this was the day, this was the day he would finally say those words to Shoma that Shoma had dreamed of hearing for so long. His mother could tell he was nervous about something and she sighed and patted the couch beside her, putting her book down. “Come here, Yuzuru.” He went to join her and she looked at him searchingly. “What has you so anxious? It isn’t like Shoma ran away with that friend of his. He’ll be back.”

Yuzuru blushed and smiled. “You know for sure it’s Shoma I’m worried about?” She gave him a flat look that clearly said, ‘I know you’, and he chuckled. “I had a talk with Javi and I have something important to tell Shoma. I’m just nervous about it.”

Yumi hummed curiously. “And what exactly would Javi have to tell you about you and Shoma?” she asked, and he shook his head.

“Actually, he was just asking about how we’re doing and we got to talking about how I-“ He smiled shyly. “I’ve known for a while that I- I love him,” he said, nervousness running through his skin at just saying the words to his mother. “I haven’t ever said it, but I’ve felt it. But he said something about how he never imagined that Shoma would end up being the one person I could love more than the ice, and I- I just felt it.” He giggled weakly. “I feel so ready to say it. He’s told me so many times and I’ve wanted to make him happy by saying it, but now I don’t just want to make him happy, I want him to _know_ that it’s true.”

“Awwww,” Yumi cooed, sliding an arm through his. “My baby is all grown up. It’s so sweet.” She looked at him curiously. “Did you really never think you could love anybody more than the ice?”

Yuzuru shook his head. “Not romantically.” He fidgeted with his nails some. “So many times I wished I could love a girl. That would be less dangerous. It wouldn’t be welcome but it would be accepted if it got out. Being gay limited my ability to ever find love, and I just-“ He sighed in frustration. “God, there were so many times I looked at Shoma and wished I loved a girl so I could be with one of them instead of him, b-“

“Oh.” 

Yuzuru turned his head at the sound of a soft word behind them, and he saw Shoma standing there, door still open. “Shoma-“

“Wow, Yuzuru. That’s nice to hear.” He looked at Yuzuru with a shattered look on his face and then stormed off down the hallway.

Yuzuru’s heart sank when he realized Shoma only heard the last bit of what he said. His mother looked at him with worry and then shooed him away. “Go! Go after him! Don’t let that poor boy think you meant you hate dating him!” She stood up, taking her book. “I’ll go out for a walk so he doesn’t worry about me hearing you argue,” she said, already heading for the door. 

“Shit,” he said, which said a lot about how he felt if he would swear in front of his mother. He scrambled to stand and ran after Shoma, socks sliding on the floor. “Shoma!” When he got to his room, his stomach clenched when he saw Shoma throwing things into his open suitcase, tears streaming down his face. “Shoma, wait-“

“After _everything_ ,” Shoma gasped out, kicking some of Yuzuru’s things out of the way to get to his. “Being here with you, I thought- I thought _for sure_ -“

“Shoma, please, listen-“

“And it’s not even about him this time, you wish you could love GIRLS-“

“Shoma, stop talking for one second!” Yuzuru pleaded, crossing the room to snatch the shirt out of his hands and grab his shoulders. “You only heard the very worst possibly moment of that conversation. Please don’t make this like those stupid movies my mom loves where people over hear half a conversation without context and let it ruin everything!”

Shoma didn’t say anything else, and he did look a little calmer, though he was still crying. “Fine. Then tell me what you were talking about,” he demanded, seeming skeptical. 

Yuzuru grabbed Shoma’s face in his hands, stepping close enough he could block out everything from Shoma’s view but him. “I was talking to my mother about how today Javi said something to me that made me realize something so important.”

Shoma whimpered. “That doesn’t make it sound any better.”

Yuzuru blinked back tears of his own as guilt for all the pain he caused Shoma resurfaced. “He said he couldn’t believe he had lived to see the day a person owned more of my heart than the ice.” He smiled wetly, brushing tears from Shoma’s cheeks. “And that person is you, Shoma. It’s only ever been you.” He looked into his big, beautiful eyes, as red and teary as they were, and finally found the courage to say what Shoma deserved to hear from him long ago. 

“Shoma, I love you more than I love skating.” 

Shoma gasped slightly. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“I love you.” He pressed their foreheads together. “Shoma, I love you.”

Shoma’s eyes widened and then scrunched up as he smiled. “You really just told me you love me,” he breathed, and Yuzuru nodded, laughing wetly. “You love me.”

“I love you!” he said excitedly. He pressed a kiss to Shoma’s lips quickly. “I’ve known it but I was too afraid or unsure or something but I’m not.” He squeaked a little. “Shoma, I would pick you over the ice. I didn’t think I could ever love someone that way. I know I’ll never have to choose, but if it was a choice I would face, I would rather have you.”

Shoma choked on something Yuzuru wasn’t sure if they were laughs or sobs, and curled himself into Yuzuru’s arms, shoulders shaking into his chest. “I wanted to hear that so bad for so long,” he gasped out, clinging to Yuzuru. “I love you, too,” he said, head tucked into the curve of Yuzuru’s neck. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me-“

“It’s okay, I love you even if you’re rubbing snot on my neck,” he told him, and this time he was sure it was a laugh he felt as he held Shoma in his arms so tight that nothing could ever take him away.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The epilogue and the end of this story! I thank you all for sticking with me through this loooong fic. 
> 
> I have a few prompt after this so I do not know for sure what next story will be, but I hope you will stick with me always and show love for your favorite ship next time I write it!

The last three days of Shoma’s visit were pure bliss. Yuzuru had never been happier in his entire life, he didn’t think. They slept curled up, knowing that this never had to end. They ate breakfast and teased each other because they could. They went out and did things and spent time together and bought each other presents and just _dated_ in a way they never had before. 

They even sneakily made love late at night when Yuzuru’s mother had gone to bed and they could shut the bedroom door, not caring how risky it was, because their love was so strong and so beautiful they needed to physically share that connection. Before, it had always been about sex. Now, it was about sharing mutual love just as much as sexual gratification. 

Before Shoma left, Yuzuru brought him to the rink to meet Brian as his boyfriend. Training was finished for the day, but Brian and Tracy were meeting in his office to officialize the training schedule for the next week. Yuzuru knew when they did that every week, so he knocked on the door and found them in there. “Oh, Yuzu, what brings you here?” Tracy asked, only to brighten up some when he tugged Shoma in after him. “Ooohhh, I heard all about the big news,” she said, smiling at them in that sweet, motherly way she always did. “All the other skaters were talking about it.”

Yuzuru beamed. “Yes. I tell everybody Shoma is boyfriend and we even go out with other skater and have fun.” He tugged Shoma from behind him, their fingers laced together. “I want him meet you both because you only know him as rival.” He swapped to Japanese for Shoma. “I want them to meet you as my boyfriend, not just another skater. You’re important to me and they both love me like an aunt and uncle more than just coaches.”

Shoma smiled nervously. “Hello, Orser-san,” he greeted, then hesitated slightly when he looked at Tracy before sending Yuzuru a panicked look. “I don’t know her family name!”

Yuzuru laughed, rolling his eyes. “Wilson,” he said, and Shoma completed his greeting, bowing his head a few times apologetically. 

“So polite,” Tracy said with a fond smile. “You’re our Yuzuru’s big secret, huh? A boyfriend.”

Shoma blushed and bit his lip. “Yes. We date eight month.”

Yuzuru giggled when Tracy gave him a warning look. “What?! I can’t just tell everybody ‘I am dating Shoma!’ and I did tell Brian-“

“Yeah, like a month ago!” Brian said warningly. “Eight months? Really? That’s a lot longer than I suspected.”

Yuzuru looked at Shoma lovingly. “Who you think keep me from going crazy when I am being injured before Olympics? Shoma talk with me and we decide to be boyfriend.” He leaned his shoulder into Shoma some. “Now, I tell family and friend about our love, so I introduce officially!”

Brian sighed and fondly rolled his eyes. “Shoma, it’s great to see you two are happy. I wish you both the best of luck. Don’t let him talk you into stupid stunts like he pulls,” he said, smiling at Shoma. “I trust you with him far more than I trust him with you.”

Yuzuru huffed, but obediently translated everything he said, even if he didn’t like it. Shoma just laughed, giving Yuzuru a devious little smirk that was definitely not attractive to Yuzuru. “I like him. He’s a smart guy.”

Tracy walked over and put a hand on each of their shoulders, smiling. “Young love is beautiful. I am truly happy to see Yuzuru smiling the way he has recently, and to know it’s because he found love with you makes it even more wonderful. I hope you boys treat each other right and keep that love strong. Your seasons can only benefit from the comfort of knowing someone out there loves you as much as you seem to love each other.”

When Yuzuru translated this time, Shoma blushed and hid his face in Yuzuru’s shoulder. “It’s too sappy. I’m going to die. How does she just- just say stuff that heartfelt and kind!” he complained. 

Yuzuru giggled and kissed Shoma’s head then translated for Tracy even though Shoma realized what he was doing and tried to cover his mouth, cheeks aflame with embarrassment. When Shoma gave up and tried to run away, tugging Yuzuru after him, Yuzuru just waved at his coaches, both of whom looked amused and entirely approving. It was a good feeling. 

Saying goodbye to Shoma was heart wrenching now that they both had come so much closer to each other. Yuzuru didn’t take him to the airport. He couldn’t. It would break his heart and he would have to take a cab home to keep from getting on the wrong bus. Instead, they said their goodbyes in Yuzuru’s living room, both of them fighting tears as they hugged tightly. 

“Promise you will call every day,” Shoma whispered, and Yuzuru nodded.

“I never do that but I swear, I promise you, unless something happens to prevent me, I will call you every single day.” He whimpered. “I love you, Shoma. I love you so much.”

“You, too,” Shoma gasped. “I’ll find a way to see you again soon. If I have to come watch your competition as a spectator, I’ll find a way.”

“Same,” Yuzuru laughed, kissing his cheek. “I won’t let you go so easily after all we went to to get this right.”

Shoma kissed him one more time before the cab they called honked outside. He didn’t even care that Yuzuru’s mother was present, and Yuzuru didn’t either. Yumi, for her part, looked away to give them privacy, even if she had to wait to see Shoma off. 

Once he was gone, Yuzuru went to his room and lay on his bed, listening to music and breathing in the lingering scent of Shoma on his pillows. He would get over it, but for now, he needed time to just wallow in his sadness that the man he loved was gone and he may not see him again for months. 

Before he could wallow too much, however, his phone dinged. He picked it up and saw a selfie of Shoma at the airport, holding a Pooh keychain inside the duty-free shop. 

_It’s fate that I saw this when I picked up air-sickness pills. It’s my new good luck charm. A good reminder that my boyfriend loves me even if we’re half a world apart. Any time I feel nervous about a skate, I’ll grab it out of my bag and give it a kiss for you. I have to take off soon, but I will text you when I land._

It was a beautiful message, but what really got Yuzuru was that Shoma had changed his contact in Yuzuru’s phone at some point. 

_Cute Boyfriend_

Yuzuru clutched his phone to his chest and rolled over to squeal into his pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gracias por todo!


End file.
